4,265 Miles

Yesterday, Vivien was eating lunch and pointed to the picture of "Jenny" on our fridge and said quite matter-of-factly "I want to go see Jenny."  

A lump formed in my throat as I whispered my reply, "So do I, baby girl.  So do I."

I want to go see Jenny.

A few days prior, in the calm, quiet hour of 5am, I was reading Psalm 8.

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? (verses 3 & 4, NIV)

Stargazers

In our house, we have a fascination with the vastness of the universe and the astronomical time and space mysteries that mankind is just too small to figure out.  Galaxies go on literally for ever and the starlight we see in the sky this very evening was emitted from a celestial being that burned out and died a lifetime ago!

So where does God fit in all this?  Over the past half-century, mankind has traveled quite literally to the ends of our galaxy and beyond.  Voyager 1 was launched over 40 years ago and is currently over 13 billion miles away from the earth.  And it's still going!    And it's still sending data back to us!

What feels like a world away is actually just in the palm of His hands.

Jenny is currently ~4,265 miles away from her forever family.  Compared to 13 billion, this doesn't seem like much.  But to us it feels like a chasm. 

We pray for Jenny everyday.  And I'll admit:  some days I feel like David in Psalm 8.  Who are we, and who is Jenny, that God is mindful of us?  There's a lot of crappy things going on in the world.  Big, crappy things.  Things that should take God's attention away from the Etter family, their immigration paperwork, and their medical insurance logistics.   I wouldn't blame God for not having us or Jenny at the top of his priority list.

But our God is bigger.  Bigger than all the big, crappy things that are happening in the world.  Bigger than the natural disasters and the depravity of mankind.  And so we still pray.  We pray because Jesus said in John 16:24b, "Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete."  We pray because he hasn't forgotten us.  And most importantly, he hasn't forgotten Jenny. 

And someday soon, when we tuck Vivien into bed and she says "We go in the airplane to get Jenny!" (as she does almost every night) we'll be able to answer her with "Yes!" 

And we will.

Preppers

As we sit here waiting for US Immigration to approve an immigrant VISA for Jenny, we feel the deafening and almost overwhelming calm before the storm.

I remember the baby shower that my mother and sister-in-law Rebekah threw for us before Vivien was born.  A party to celebrate this new and exciting addition to our family.  It was a joyous occasion.

Doesn't she look so well-rested and kid-carefree?

No one dared to bring up the scary realities of having a newborn:  crying for hours, not gaining enough weight between pediatrician visits, post-partum depression, saying goodbye to your life as you knew it.  Sure, everyone made jokes about the sleepless nights we would experience, but nothing, I mean nothing, prepares you for that kind of sleep deprivation.   I wish someone would have had the courage to sit me down and tell me the harsh truth of parenting a newborn. 

Because that's exactly what's happening to us as we now prepare to parent an adopted child with serious medical needs. 

Each Tuesday evening for the past two months, we have been attending a parenting class called "Empowered to Connect."  This class is preparing us to build a meaningful relationship with Jenny who likely has never had a meaningful relationship in her short little life.  Add to that the terrifying reality of caring for a fragile life dependent on a machine to breathe for her and we have certainly embraced the old adage "Prepare for the worst and hope for the best."

Watching as Daddy paints her new room!

We aren't the only ones prepping these days.  This weekend, Vivien moved into her "big girl bedroom" with her "big girl bed."  The Etter's guest room took on a purple hue and a toddler bed as Viv moved from the nursery down the hall into her new bedroom.  She handled the transition like a trooper and was excited that she could climb in and out of bed on her own! 

Viv's big girl bedroom!

Her old room has turned into a blank slate waiting for Jenny's arrival and Viv is already proudly boasting "that's my big sister's room!"   

We're preparing for the best.  Because we have a hope that isn't in our own abilities, or in the advice of the experts who compiled the ETC course materials, or even in the doctors and nurses who will be caring for Jenny and teaching us to adjust our lifestyles to meet the physical and emotional needs of our newest family member.  No, our hope is in Him - the Author and Finisher of our Faith. He is the one who holds us in the palm of His hand and He has had a firm grasp on us since January 3rd when we first began this adoption journey. 

A New November

It's funny how life works.  Exactly one year ago, we had no idea that November is National Adoption Awareness Month.  And now here we are, neck-deep into our own international adoption and advocating for orphan justice around the world.  Our journey started with a magazine article.  This guest blog was written by Crystal Kupper, author of that article, adoptive mother, and mentor.   Thanks, Crystal!

My career is literally wordy. As a freelance writer, I transfer what’s running through my or someone else’s mind and put it on the paper and screen. In that sense, words are transactional for me, a mere business move, counted blots of ink that add up to a paycheck.

But a simple transaction is rarely my goal. I want to make my readers laugh, think, pause, be moved, cry or ponder (and if I can make them do it all in one article, even better). I want my words to be the spark that lights a fire. I want anything and everything I write to push someone to action to make this world a more just place.

Every so often, not only does this happen, but I get to hear about it. Such is the case with the Etter family.

Tara has already told many of you how our families met — first indirectly through reading my work in a magazine, then in real life this year. This is crazy-cool in and of itself: that something I wrote generated a wonderful, in-person friendship.

 But this story is about so much more than connection over Easter egg hunts, family dinners, baseball games and dessert. It’s about the power of the press to change a little girl’s life — and that of a family thousands of miles away.

Tara and Justin may have eventually embarked on the adventure of international special needs adoption without me, sure. But when they read my article about adopting my own daughter last November, a God-inspired light came on, and they obeyed now. Hearing the very real fears and trials my husband and I went through demystified the process (if we could do it, anyone can!), and suddenly it didn’t matter how hard they knew the process would be; they just had to get to Jenny.

On my end, knowing that a family was adopting (especially through Reece’s Rainbow, the organization that photolisted both of our daughters) blessed my socks off. But the story doesn’t end there. Because exactly one year after reading mine, Citizen magazine readers are reading Tara’s adoption story this month.

Guyana reads her ripple effect article!

That’s right; Tara is a nationally published author! (She’s not the greatest at tooting her own horn, but I am more than happy to do. She knocked it out of the park!).

More importantly, this chain of families finding their children has another chance to continue. If the Etters read the Kupper’s story and were then moved to create their own, can it not happen again — perhaps to even more families and waiting orphans? I certainly pray so!

May this article move you and your own little family to action. May it inspire others across the States to examine how they can personally get involved in orphan justice. May it see another article come out next November (National Adoption Awareness Month, not coincidentally) on how the Etters’ story began another chapter in a new family.

Most importantly, may every single one of my and Tara’s words translate into love from the Father straight into the heart of a waiting child.