Where's Jenny?

"So what's the hold up?  I thought you'd have Jenny home by now!"

Yeah, so did we.

Viv says "This would be so much more fun with my big sister!"

It seems that the hold up is the result of many things that are much bigger than we anticipated.  When we began this journey, we knew there were some issues in Jenny's country that may present a few hurdles along the way, but we never imagined a delay this long or the possibility of an outright denial.

Since we're being asked almost daily what some of the issues are, or how you can pray specifically, here's a rundown:

National Pride 
The current administration in Jenny's country is very nationalistic, which is admittedly an admirable quality.  After all, aren't we Americans as proud as anyone of our country?  As such, the leaders in her country are very adamant that their orphans remain there, even if no domestic family can be found for the child. 

We knew this to be the case shortly after we found Jenny on Reece's Rainbow.  We hadn't even begun our Home Study yet when we were told that all international adoptions in her country were put on hold due to new legislation.  By God's providence, Jenny was determined to have international status in large part due to her "difficult life and health situation."

Regulation Nation
Lest we begin to cast all of the blame on the officials in Jenny's country, we should take a step back and see the bigger picture.  Over the past month, a spotlight has begun to shine on issues with international adoptions in general - not just those in Jenny's country.

Fox News Video

A mere 1 week after our adoption agency flew to Jenny's country to advocate for us, Fox News @ Nite aired the clip above.  Two days later, a friend from church handed me her copy of World Magazine which featured the following article:  "Regulatory Orphans."

Just Google "Decline in International Adoptions" and you will come upon dozens of hits, most dated within the past few weeks.   Our own state department is making it more and more difficult for US families to adopt children from other countries.  One by one countries are dropping out of international adoptions altogether.  Russia, Guatemala, Ethiopia, and now it looks like even Japan and Korea are making it more difficult for their children to be adopted abroad. 

So what can we do? Pray.  Pray for international adoptions.  Pray for the families that have invested so much time, emotions and money into this process.  Pray for the children, many of whom are institutionalized and/or with special needs.  Pray for God's intercession.

And raise awareness of this issue.  I don't think we've heard the end of this story just yet.  Our journey is far from over.

Your Part in the Journey

We wanted to thank each and every person who came to Jenny's birthday party fundraiser earlier this month!  It was such a blessing to spend time with our friends and family who have meant so much to us over the past year as we prepare for Jenny's arrival into our lives.  We were overwhelmed with the love for Vivien before her birth and we are likewise overwhelmed with the love you all have for Jenny - a little girl half a world away who has stolen all of our hearts.  We can't wait for you to meet her!

If you didn't get the chance to stop by the party to film your birthday greeting or sign the back of her puzzle, we would still like to extend that opportunity to you!  Contact us to get in on the fun!

If you played a part in this journey, please sign one of Jenny's puzzle pieces!

As you're probably aware by now, International adoption is expensive. Like stupid expensive.  Think about it - travel and accommodation expenses alone can mount to upwards of $10,000!  And that doesn't include court fees, application and fingerprinting fees, and home study fees.  Fees, fees, fees!  Unfortunately, this reality keeps so many amazing couples from taking the steps to adopt.

When we first made the decision to adopt, one of the things that we wrestled over was whether or not we would do any fundraising. There aren’t many things more humbling than asking other people for money. It sucks honestly! It’s uncomfortable. It’s vulnerable. 

We began this journey knowing that God wants Jenny to be an Etter someday.  And we also know that He will provide for this journey to which he has called us.  He already has in so many ways.  We had enough in our savings to get the process started, but the rest was a leap of faith.

The more we talked about it, the more we understood that it isn’t about asking people for money, but asking them to be a part of our story. Jenny's story, in how she got to come home. Whenever we had the urge to decline someone's generosity, we stifled our pride and listened to the meek little voice inside of us that said "Let them bless you."

And you have blessed us in a huge way!  Whether you bought a pair of leggings from one of our LuLaRoe fundraisers, donated an old toy for our fall yardsale, or made a donation to our Reece's Rainbow Sponsorship Page, we can't thank you enough.

Between all of the fundraiser, auctions, and yard sales, combined with our Reece's Rainbow campaign, we have been able to raise over $7,000 toward the cost of bringing Jenny home!  

Even better news?  We believe that we will be FULLY FUNDED for the rest of the fees that await us in this journey!  Praise the Lord!  And it's all because of your generosity, prayers and encouragement!  Words cannot express our gratitude.

THANK YOU!

Not every family is as fortunate, however, and not every child has a family preparing for her.  If you still feel led to give, we invite you to peruse the children and families on Reece's Rainbow and see how you might be led to make a difference for another child in need of a family!  Lack of finances should never be the reason a child doesn't have a family.  

Even though the fundraising portion of our journey is over, please know that we will continue to advocate for others who view the cost of adoption as a brick wall in their journey toward becoming a family.  

A New November

It's funny how life works.  Exactly one year ago, we had no idea that November is National Adoption Awareness Month.  And now here we are, neck-deep into our own international adoption and advocating for orphan justice around the world.  Our journey started with a magazine article.  This guest blog was written by Crystal Kupper, author of that article, adoptive mother, and mentor.   Thanks, Crystal!

My career is literally wordy. As a freelance writer, I transfer what’s running through my or someone else’s mind and put it on the paper and screen. In that sense, words are transactional for me, a mere business move, counted blots of ink that add up to a paycheck.

But a simple transaction is rarely my goal. I want to make my readers laugh, think, pause, be moved, cry or ponder (and if I can make them do it all in one article, even better). I want my words to be the spark that lights a fire. I want anything and everything I write to push someone to action to make this world a more just place.

Every so often, not only does this happen, but I get to hear about it. Such is the case with the Etter family.

Tara has already told many of you how our families met — first indirectly through reading my work in a magazine, then in real life this year. This is crazy-cool in and of itself: that something I wrote generated a wonderful, in-person friendship.

 But this story is about so much more than connection over Easter egg hunts, family dinners, baseball games and dessert. It’s about the power of the press to change a little girl’s life — and that of a family thousands of miles away.

Tara and Justin may have eventually embarked on the adventure of international special needs adoption without me, sure. But when they read my article about adopting my own daughter last November, a God-inspired light came on, and they obeyed now. Hearing the very real fears and trials my husband and I went through demystified the process (if we could do it, anyone can!), and suddenly it didn’t matter how hard they knew the process would be; they just had to get to Jenny.

On my end, knowing that a family was adopting (especially through Reece’s Rainbow, the organization that photolisted both of our daughters) blessed my socks off. But the story doesn’t end there. Because exactly one year after reading mine, Citizen magazine readers are reading Tara’s adoption story this month.

Guyana reads her ripple effect article!

That’s right; Tara is a nationally published author! (She’s not the greatest at tooting her own horn, but I am more than happy to do. She knocked it out of the park!).

More importantly, this chain of families finding their children has another chance to continue. If the Etters read the Kupper’s story and were then moved to create their own, can it not happen again — perhaps to even more families and waiting orphans? I certainly pray so!

May this article move you and your own little family to action. May it inspire others across the States to examine how they can personally get involved in orphan justice. May it see another article come out next November (National Adoption Awareness Month, not coincidentally) on how the Etters’ story began another chapter in a new family.

Most importantly, may every single one of my and Tara’s words translate into love from the Father straight into the heart of a waiting child. 

LuLaRoe For Jenny

The very first thing we bought for Jenny was a pair of LuLaRoe leggings that match a Mommy & Me pair that Vivien and I already owned.  I cried when I paid for them and I told the LLR consultant who they were for.

And this is why our next fundraiser is particularly dear to my heart.

Meet KeRRi DailoR - Wife, Mother, Sister, Friend, MOPs leader and LuLaRoe fashion consultant.

Kerri & Newborn Noel

In February 2014, my husband Matthew and I had exactly three days' warning that our one-week old baby boy was coming home!

After a quick Target run with my best friend (who had given birth to her son literally 30 days earlier!) to get diapers, wipes, and a NoseFrida nasal aspirator (just in case) we were ready!

On Friday, the 28th of February, we loaded up an empty car seat, formula that we had no idea what to do with, tiny diapers and a 0-3 month outfit and set off!

After more than an hour of signing a tower of paperwork at the adoption agency, the door opened!  In walked Noel's birth mom holding the tiniest 6lb bundle of baby in a blue and white crocheted blanket with two itty-bitty feet popping out the bottom!  

Noel's birth dad was close behind and the two of them handed us our son to hold for the first time. And just like that we were parents!

The next 3.5 years would fly by quicker than we knew, and we were blessed to have an open relationship with Noel's birth parents.  They are able to see him grow and thrive and play with trains and worship Lightening McQueen!  They haven't missed a birthday party or museum visit yet!  We are one big family. 

We are so very thankful for the gift of adoption and what it has done for all of us.  While having a very unique start and story, we actually feel very normal.  Our normal.

I was more than ecstatic when Tara told me about Jenny and asked if I would be willing to participate in a fundraiser event.  I assumed she asked because she knew our family has been so blessed by adoption too!  Nope!  She had no idea!  She just loves LuLaRoe and thought it would be fun (and it will be!!)  How awesome to see God working in this incredible story of bringing Jenny home.  Time and time again He has stepped in and just proven to their family how this is all 100% meant to be!  I'm excited to play a very small part in bringing another child home to their family! 

Shop LULAROE KeRRi DailoR for JENNY!

So what's LuLaRoe?  Besides being my latest obsession, it's awesome, adorable, quality clothing - they are famous for their buttery soft leggings, conservative styles, and unique prints.  A portion of the proceeds from Kerri's sales during the week of Aug 22 thru Aug 28 will be donated to our Family Sponsorship Page (FSP) with Reece's Rainbow.   THANK YOU, KERRI!

Leggings for the Etter Girls!

Jenny is Our Starfish

This entire journey has made us become full-fledged adoption advocates.   That's actually one of the main reasons we started this blog:  to make others aware of the need for children all around the world to become part of loving families.  Crystal shared her story and it touched our lives.  Why can't God use our story to do the same?  We realize that we're just one ripple on this vast ocean and God can use our little ripple to make big waves.  

Avinly, Guyanna & Vivien

Justin helping Guyanna roast marshmallows

A simple Google search on "Adoption Statistics" will give you a deluge of information on how many adoptions occur each year and from which countries, etc.  UNICEF estimates that there are 140 million orphans in the world.  In 2016, Americans adopted 5,370 children from other countries.  A drop in the bucket.  Reece's Rainbow is 11 years old this year.  Through those years, over 1,772 disabled children have found forever homes.

(Image taken from Reece's Rainbow homepage)

Not everyone can adopt...we realize that.  But everyone can do something!  The Bible has plenty to say about caring for widows and orphans.  God has a special heart for these members of society because of their vulnerability.  We are tasked to care for them, there's no denying that.

Exodus 22:22:  You shall not afflict any widow or orphan.
Deuteronomy 10:18:  He executes justice for the orphan and widow.
Deuteronomy 24:17:  You shall not pervert the justice due an alien or an orphan.
Psalms 10:18:  Vindicate the orphan and the oppressed.
Isaiah 1:17:  Defend the orphan; plead for the widow.
Zechariah 7:10:  Do not oppress the widow or the orphan.
Hosea 14:3:  For in you the orphan finds mercy.

That day, back in December when we visited www.reecesrainbow.org for the first time, we were blown away by the number of kids who need loving forever families.  We wanted to take them all into our home, into our arms, and share God's love with them.  Our hearts break that we can't make a difference to all of them.

Or can we? We pray for those kids...every day and every night, there is at least one Reece's Rainbow child that crosses our minds and into our prayers.  And we have literally seen the power of specific prayers change a child's status from "Waiting" to "My Family Found Me".  (Meet Reese for the Howard Family)

And of course we're going to make a difference to this one: Jenny.  Jenny is our starfish, and for her, we will fight.  For her, we will endure these paper-cuts.  For her we will sit in these awful Lab Corp waiting rooms.  For her we will decipher 20 pages of instructions pertaining to a 2-page government form.

We will make a difference for Jenny.  And we will continue to fight for orphan justice.

140 million minus 1.

Kindred Spirits on the Path

Remember the article that I read in Citizen magazine that sparked this journey to Jenny?

Well, I felt I needed to reach out to Crystal Kupper, the author who had adopted an "other angel" from Reece's Rainbow, and let her know.  She deserved to know what an impact her words made and that, because she chose to share her story, there will be one less orphan in the world.  How many times have you read something that impacted you enough to completely and literally change your life?  How many times do you actually get to tell the author about that impact?  God wanted us to tell Crystal.

So, one morning, I wrote her an email.

Hi Crystal,I just wanted to let you know that my husband and I read your article in the November edition of FOTF's Citizen magazine and we were touched and inspired by your story.  For the past 2 years, we have felt a nudge in the direction of adoption, but as you know, it's a scary leap to make.  After we read your article, we couldn't get the kids from Reece's Rainbow out of our heads.  We donated to about 20 different kids, but that didn't seem like enough.  God is calling us to do more.  We have begun to pursue the adoption of a little girl.  I just wanted to thank you for fueling that fire that God had already put in our hearts.  Thank for you raising awareness of Reece's Rainbow and know that your story is being used by God in mighty ways!

Less than 4 hours later, she responded.  She wrote:  "I have the biggest smile on my face!  For the past week, I have been praying for you by name, that if it was God's will, that you and Justin would have the faith to take the leap and adopt." 

Um....

Praying for us by name!?  

How did she know Justin's name!?  

Once my heart started beating again, I continued reading.  It turns out that the director of Reece's Rainbow shared our letter with Crystal and she had been praying for us ever since.  

But God wasn't finished yet...that day, we continued emailing back and forth.  In His timing.  In His plan.  It turns out that the Kupper family lives about 25 minutes from us.   The very next weekend, our families met for dinner and instant friendship blossomed.  

The Kuppers and The Etters, Easter 2017

We got to meet (and instantly fell in love with) little Guyana, the spitfire chatterbox star of the article that started it all.  Vivien instantly bonded with Guyana and their 3 bio children, Jack, Jude, and precious Avinly.

Guyana on an Easter egg hunt at our house!

Now the Kuppers are not only among our best friends, but they are also our mentor family and our Adoption Warriors!  Crystal took and edited the photos for our recent Facebook Adoption Announcement, and I know she's working on some fundraisers for us to help cover some of the astronomical adoption expenses that we're going to face.  We could not be more grateful and thankful for all that they've done and all that they're going to do for us, for little Jenny, and to spread the awareness of orphans in need.

With God, nothing is coincidental.  We believe that He works everything for good to those who love Him.  And HIS timing is everything.  Being a military family, I know the Kuppers are only here temporarily, but they are here at the exact right moment to be our mentor family through, not only the adoption process, but the first few fragile years that Jenny will be home with us.  

I don't know what the next few years hold for our two families, but I can imagine that there will be plenty of baseball games, bar-b-ques, and trips to the beach.  And I know with even greater certainty that there will be many difficult conversations over cups of coffee, tear-drenched hugs, and questioning God's sovereignty as we travel this road of adoption together.  

How the Journey Began

We were asked how this journey to Jenny began.  It began on March 1, 2015.  That was the day our biological daughter, Vivien, was born. 

Until that day, orphans and adoption were abstract thoughts for us.  Something that movies and memoirs were about.  Something that people who couldn't have children did.  It wasn’t something that was real for us.  On that icy March afternoon when our daughter was born, all of that changed for us. 

Every night as we rocked Vivien to sleep and laid her in her crib, our hearts would break for children around the world who did not know this love.  Something inside of us – the Holy Spirit – opened our eyes and we began to see the gross injustice done to the innocent and most vulnerable among us.  And what started as a tiny spark grew and grew.  Even without us realizing it.  People would begin to ask, as they often do, “When are you going to have another?” Much to their surprise and ours, our automatic response became, “Well, if we do, we’ll probably adopt.”  What?  Where was this coming from?

Church friends who had adopted or fostered began to come out of the woodwork and share their experiences.  But what could we do?  The possibilities seemed endless and overwhelming.  Foster or adopt?  Domestic or International?  Part of me even wanted to stand on the steps of an abortion clinic and hold a sign that said “Give us the chance to love your baby”.  (Part of me still wants to do this). 

Did you know that November is National Adoption Awareness Month?  Neither did we.  Until 2016.  That’s when our November issue of Focus on the Family’s Citizen Magazine came in the mail and I read this article.  Actually, I cried my way through most of the article and passed the tear-stained pages to my husband.  I left the magazine on our kitchen island as a reminder that we needed to do something.  As Christians, as part of the church, it is our responsibility to care for the innocent and most vulnerable among us.  But what could we do?

That magazine stayed on my kitchen counter for over a month.  But then God prompted and prodded.  We finally visited Reece's Rainbow, and like the author of the article in that issue of Citizen Magazine, we cried and prayed as we scrolled through pages and pages of children who needed to be loved.   We ultimately chose ten children to which we wanted to donate toward the cost of their adoptions.

But, in scrolling through the children, one stood out.   She got stuck in our heads and our hearts.  Little Jenny.  We couldn’t stop thinking about her.  And now we know why.  God.  God placed her there.  God, in his perfect wisdom and timing and ordinance, had chosen us for this journey.  Before we even knew it, God’s plan was working.  Wheels were spinning.  And our roller-coaster ride toward adoption was just beginning.