A New November

It's funny how life works.  Exactly one year ago, we had no idea that November is National Adoption Awareness Month.  And now here we are, neck-deep into our own international adoption and advocating for orphan justice around the world.  Our journey started with a magazine article.  This guest blog was written by Crystal Kupper, author of that article, adoptive mother, and mentor.   Thanks, Crystal!

My career is literally wordy. As a freelance writer, I transfer what’s running through my or someone else’s mind and put it on the paper and screen. In that sense, words are transactional for me, a mere business move, counted blots of ink that add up to a paycheck.

But a simple transaction is rarely my goal. I want to make my readers laugh, think, pause, be moved, cry or ponder (and if I can make them do it all in one article, even better). I want my words to be the spark that lights a fire. I want anything and everything I write to push someone to action to make this world a more just place.

Every so often, not only does this happen, but I get to hear about it. Such is the case with the Etter family.

Tara has already told many of you how our families met — first indirectly through reading my work in a magazine, then in real life this year. This is crazy-cool in and of itself: that something I wrote generated a wonderful, in-person friendship.

 But this story is about so much more than connection over Easter egg hunts, family dinners, baseball games and dessert. It’s about the power of the press to change a little girl’s life — and that of a family thousands of miles away.

Tara and Justin may have eventually embarked on the adventure of international special needs adoption without me, sure. But when they read my article about adopting my own daughter last November, a God-inspired light came on, and they obeyed now. Hearing the very real fears and trials my husband and I went through demystified the process (if we could do it, anyone can!), and suddenly it didn’t matter how hard they knew the process would be; they just had to get to Jenny.

On my end, knowing that a family was adopting (especially through Reece’s Rainbow, the organization that photolisted both of our daughters) blessed my socks off. But the story doesn’t end there. Because exactly one year after reading mine, Citizen magazine readers are reading Tara’s adoption story this month.

Guyana reads her ripple effect article!

That’s right; Tara is a nationally published author! (She’s not the greatest at tooting her own horn, but I am more than happy to do. She knocked it out of the park!).

More importantly, this chain of families finding their children has another chance to continue. If the Etters read the Kupper’s story and were then moved to create their own, can it not happen again — perhaps to even more families and waiting orphans? I certainly pray so!

May this article move you and your own little family to action. May it inspire others across the States to examine how they can personally get involved in orphan justice. May it see another article come out next November (National Adoption Awareness Month, not coincidentally) on how the Etters’ story began another chapter in a new family.

Most importantly, may every single one of my and Tara’s words translate into love from the Father straight into the heart of a waiting child. 

Kindred Spirits on the Path

Remember the article that I read in Citizen magazine that sparked this journey to Jenny?

Well, I felt I needed to reach out to Crystal Kupper, the author who had adopted an "other angel" from Reece's Rainbow, and let her know.  She deserved to know what an impact her words made and that, because she chose to share her story, there will be one less orphan in the world.  How many times have you read something that impacted you enough to completely and literally change your life?  How many times do you actually get to tell the author about that impact?  God wanted us to tell Crystal.

So, one morning, I wrote her an email.

Hi Crystal,I just wanted to let you know that my husband and I read your article in the November edition of FOTF's Citizen magazine and we were touched and inspired by your story.  For the past 2 years, we have felt a nudge in the direction of adoption, but as you know, it's a scary leap to make.  After we read your article, we couldn't get the kids from Reece's Rainbow out of our heads.  We donated to about 20 different kids, but that didn't seem like enough.  God is calling us to do more.  We have begun to pursue the adoption of a little girl.  I just wanted to thank you for fueling that fire that God had already put in our hearts.  Thank for you raising awareness of Reece's Rainbow and know that your story is being used by God in mighty ways!

Less than 4 hours later, she responded.  She wrote:  "I have the biggest smile on my face!  For the past week, I have been praying for you by name, that if it was God's will, that you and Justin would have the faith to take the leap and adopt." 

Um....

Praying for us by name!?  

How did she know Justin's name!?  

Once my heart started beating again, I continued reading.  It turns out that the director of Reece's Rainbow shared our letter with Crystal and she had been praying for us ever since.  

But God wasn't finished yet...that day, we continued emailing back and forth.  In His timing.  In His plan.  It turns out that the Kupper family lives about 25 minutes from us.   The very next weekend, our families met for dinner and instant friendship blossomed.  

The Kuppers and The Etters, Easter 2017

We got to meet (and instantly fell in love with) little Guyana, the spitfire chatterbox star of the article that started it all.  Vivien instantly bonded with Guyana and their 3 bio children, Jack, Jude, and precious Avinly.

Guyana on an Easter egg hunt at our house!

Now the Kuppers are not only among our best friends, but they are also our mentor family and our Adoption Warriors!  Crystal took and edited the photos for our recent Facebook Adoption Announcement, and I know she's working on some fundraisers for us to help cover some of the astronomical adoption expenses that we're going to face.  We could not be more grateful and thankful for all that they've done and all that they're going to do for us, for little Jenny, and to spread the awareness of orphans in need.

With God, nothing is coincidental.  We believe that He works everything for good to those who love Him.  And HIS timing is everything.  Being a military family, I know the Kuppers are only here temporarily, but they are here at the exact right moment to be our mentor family through, not only the adoption process, but the first few fragile years that Jenny will be home with us.  

I don't know what the next few years hold for our two families, but I can imagine that there will be plenty of baseball games, bar-b-ques, and trips to the beach.  And I know with even greater certainty that there will be many difficult conversations over cups of coffee, tear-drenched hugs, and questioning God's sovereignty as we travel this road of adoption together.  

How the Journey Began

We were asked how this journey to Jenny began.  It began on March 1, 2015.  That was the day our biological daughter, Vivien, was born. 

Until that day, orphans and adoption were abstract thoughts for us.  Something that movies and memoirs were about.  Something that people who couldn't have children did.  It wasn’t something that was real for us.  On that icy March afternoon when our daughter was born, all of that changed for us. 

Every night as we rocked Vivien to sleep and laid her in her crib, our hearts would break for children around the world who did not know this love.  Something inside of us – the Holy Spirit – opened our eyes and we began to see the gross injustice done to the innocent and most vulnerable among us.  And what started as a tiny spark grew and grew.  Even without us realizing it.  People would begin to ask, as they often do, “When are you going to have another?” Much to their surprise and ours, our automatic response became, “Well, if we do, we’ll probably adopt.”  What?  Where was this coming from?

Church friends who had adopted or fostered began to come out of the woodwork and share their experiences.  But what could we do?  The possibilities seemed endless and overwhelming.  Foster or adopt?  Domestic or International?  Part of me even wanted to stand on the steps of an abortion clinic and hold a sign that said “Give us the chance to love your baby”.  (Part of me still wants to do this). 

Did you know that November is National Adoption Awareness Month?  Neither did we.  Until 2016.  That’s when our November issue of Focus on the Family’s Citizen Magazine came in the mail and I read this article.  Actually, I cried my way through most of the article and passed the tear-stained pages to my husband.  I left the magazine on our kitchen island as a reminder that we needed to do something.  As Christians, as part of the church, it is our responsibility to care for the innocent and most vulnerable among us.  But what could we do?

That magazine stayed on my kitchen counter for over a month.  But then God prompted and prodded.  We finally visited Reece's Rainbow, and like the author of the article in that issue of Citizen Magazine, we cried and prayed as we scrolled through pages and pages of children who needed to be loved.   We ultimately chose ten children to which we wanted to donate toward the cost of their adoptions.

But, in scrolling through the children, one stood out.   She got stuck in our heads and our hearts.  Little Jenny.  We couldn’t stop thinking about her.  And now we know why.  God.  God placed her there.  God, in his perfect wisdom and timing and ordinance, had chosen us for this journey.  Before we even knew it, God’s plan was working.  Wheels were spinning.  And our roller-coaster ride toward adoption was just beginning.