Quarantine Cocoon

The #Covidquarantine has been like a major timeout sanctioned by God - something that the Etter family learned to appreciate during the last 13 weeks of confinement within our household.  We stopped.  No restaurants, no shopping trips, no Six Flags, no baseball games, no running and running and running.  We just stopped. 

The "experts" highly recommend cocooning in the days and weeks following an international adoption, an idea at which the very busy and always-moving Etter family scoffed.  We're always on the go, so Niky better get used to it! 

And then God said stop.  Just be. 

So we did.

Like many, our new normal has been a struggle.  We are both blessed to be working full-time from home, but it does come with a new set of challenges as we've been parenting and schooling our two preschoolers while working our jobs.  Vivien's academic preschool had plenty of seat-work for her to do and held Zoom classes at least twice a week.  Niky had a tele-therapy session via Zoom every single weekday, plus two class sessions, and was offered a one-on-one teacher session which we politely declined to participate in because, well let's just say it: no human being, let alone a special needs child, should be subjected to 8 zoom meetings in a single week.

Ready to Zoom!

All of this extra together time has been a struggle, but it's also been a great bonding opportunity for us as a family and has led to the following enlightenment:  Niky today is the boy we thought we were picking up in August.  What do we mean by this?  Our expectations of Niky's cognitive capabilities and interests were significantly above and beyond what he was capable of during the days and weeks after we picked him up and brought him home.  This realization came to us after dinner last night.  Last night Niky was sitting on the floor reading a Seek & Find book, pointing to pictures and asking "What the?"

Eight months ago, Niky didn't have enough language, either in English or Bulgarian, to express this question, nor did he have any interest in sitting still, let alone looking at a picture book for any length of time.  This is a testament to just how far he has come in 10 months.  Now his current favorite activity is playing "peek-a-boo."  We are keenly aware of how far he has come, and yet how far he still has to go.

We used to have bad days...now we just have bad moments and they (mostly) never feel insurmountable like they once did.  And we have bonded significantly and learned to trust each other, which makes the tantrums and trauma slightly more bearable and certainly more understandable.  

We hope you, too, have had a chance to breathe.  Amidst all of the uncertainty, the fear, the isolation, one thing has always remained:  God is in control.  He knows what we need, even when we think we're doing just fine.