WE HAVE A COURT DATE!!!!

Hold everything and alert the presses: The Etter Family has an adoption court date!!!!

On June 21, 2019, a national judge in a faraway country will officially grant that the Etters have a son!

We do not have to be present for this court ruling.  Part of the adoption paperwork process is obtaining background investigations, medical records, and home study reports so mind-mindbogglingly thorough that the adoption agency attorney is able to represent us, an American couple she has never met or even spoken to or communicated with.

Viv sees a light at the end of the Rainbow!

What happens next?  We should hear of the judge's ruling by the end of that day, or early the next day (after all, they are 5 hours ahead of us over there).  Then we'll be invited on Trip 2:  The Pick-up Trip.  And then, at long last, we'll be a family of 4!!

We expect to travel 4-6 weeks after the court date - so by the end of July. 

Please continue to pray for us as we anticipate this added blessing to our family...we know there will some tough times ahead of us, but we also know that we have the support of so many of you, and that we're not in this alone!  Above all, God is in control! 

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you."

The Journey Continues

Grief is a funny thing.  Each person handles it so differently.  I've grieved the loss of a beloved pet.  I've grieved the loss of my daddy way sooner than anyone should have to.  And now I can say I've grieved the loss of a child I never had.  Talk about not being fair or not having closure.  How is one supposed to move on from something like that?

I'll tell you how:  by realizing this loss is part of a bigger picture.

And maybe, just maybe, the Journey to Jenny was never supposed to lead us to Jenny.

So, our journey continues.  If you're still here for the ride, we covet your prayers.  It hurts to re-embark on this journey.  It's like re-opening a wound that never healed.  But God has given the Etters a heart for adoption.  And so we press on.  To pray for the orphan; to intercede and defend; to bring an unwanted child into our lives. 

Buckle up.  This journey rolls on!

Mr. Smith goes to Washington

Jenny's country has not issued a single approval to a foreign family yet in 2018 which many of us feel is in violation of the Hague Convention protecting children's rights to families as well as a grievous human rights violation.

These waiting children need families.  

United Vee Stands

But where is the justice?  What is our recourse?  We're dealing with a foreign government, after all.

About a month ago, a few friends mentioned that we should reach out to our Congressman.  We balked at the idea thinking it would ruffle feathers in Jenny's country.  But as the dust started to thicken on our file overseas, we fought hard trying to hear God's direction.

Was it "Be still and know" or "Fight for your daughter"?

Our Congressman is Rep. Chris Smith (NJ-4).  Leaving partisanship off the table, we began to research what he could do for us and for Jenny.  We discovered that he was quite possibly the best person we could have in our court.

• Co-Chair of the Commission on Security and Cooperation in Europe (US Helsinki Commission)
• Co-Chair of the Bipartisan Congressional Pro-Life Caucus
• Co-Chair of the Congressional Caucus on Poland
• Senior Member of the House Committee on Foreign Affairs
• Member of the Congressional Human Rights Caucus
• Member of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption

On Thursday, June 14th, we met with his District Director, Mr. Jeff Sagnip, in our local office.  During the two hour meeting, we laid everything on the table:  our concerns with Jenny's country placing a silent moratorium on foreign adoptions leaving waiting families and children in limbo; the lack of support and transparency from DOS and the OCI, and the drastic decline of international adoptions in general.

Meanwhile, in God's perfect timing and at the urging of another family who is also waiting for approval from Jenny's country, we signed up to attend the "National Adoption Advocacy Day" in Washington DC being held on Wednesday, June 20.  This day was organized by the National Council for Adoption (NCFA) and was designed to alert various representatives in DC on current issues and legislation affecting the adoption community as a whole.  We signed up to attend to draw specific attention to the issue we're facing with our international adoption.

When Jeff heard that we were going to be on the Hill the following week, he urged us to schedule a meeting with Rep. Smith's office while there.  He briefed Rep. Smith and his appropriate staff on our situation and organized our meeting with Mr. Mark Milosch, Deputy Chief of Staff and member of the Helsinki Commission, and Ms. Monica Herman, Legislative Assistant to Rep. Smith.  

#makeadoptiongreatagain

Mr. Milosch and Ms. Herman were both extremely sympathetic to our story and we're certain they will do all that they can to assist us where, and if, they are able.  

We aren't sure yet what the outcome of our meetings will be for us personally.  But it was an honor to be able to bring our personal concerns to individuals who may be able to prevent these circumstances from happening to another adoptive family in the future.  

One Year Later

It was exactly one year ago today, on a cold January 3rd morning, when we knew our family would be expanding to include the adorable, dark-haired, spunky child featured all over these pages.

As the dust settles on another hectic holiday season, we've been quietly reflecting on all that 2017 has meant to us and all that it has taught us.  And even though Jenny is still so far away, she somehow seems closer than ever.  It's only a matter of God's time.  Soon we will board a plane to Eastern Europe.  Until that invitation comes, however, we want to reflect on this journey and thank all who have personally been touched by it.

January 2017 - It began when we read an article by our new bestie, Crystal Kupper.  Crystal and her family have become dear friends, sharing holidays, birthdays, and rejoicing in every milestone in our adoption journey.  We can't wait for Jenny to meet her "Auntie Crystal" - the woman, the mentor, the legend.  We submit a "Letter of Intent" to adopt Jenny and begin the long, arduous process of completing a homestudy.

April 2017 -  With an almost-completed homestudy in our pockets, we get the news that Jenny is able to be adopted by an American family and we are on our way to being approved for her!  This was huge news that came after a halt was placed on all international adoptions from Jenny's country. An exception was made for her since she's considered "difficult to place" due to her respiratory condition.

May 2017 - We go public with our news and confuse quite a few people by stating that Vivien is going to become a "little sister!"  We are more than overwhelmed by the love and support of our friends and family, many of whom have also been touched by adoption and fostering in some way.  We become sponges, soaking up advice and well-wishes.  Our fundraising efforts will top well over $5,000 by the end of the calendar year - a testament to God's provision along this expensive and uncertain path forged by faith. 

Summer 2017 - Paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork.  We are busy obtaining fingerprints, birth certificates, and blood samples (literally) to submit our dossier to Jenny's country.  By the middle of September, every necessary document, certified twice over, is en route to the adoption agency in Jenny's country.  We are also blessed by numerous fundraising efforts, from LuLaRoe to yardsales.

 


October 2017 - Jenny's country submits her medical information, birth certificate and other court documents to us in an official referral.  Of course, we say YES to this referral and quickly apply to USCIS to begin the process to obtain a VISA for her.  We also learn quite a bit more about her medical condition, current living arrangements, and custodial history.  We connect with the international adoption department at CHOP as well as their pulmonology department in order to prepare for her arrival in our family.  We also complete a 9 week adoption course called Empowered to Connect which equips us with strategies to parent a child from a hard place.

December 2017 - The US has approved Jenny's VISA and the file is forwarded to the central authority in Jenny's country for final approval.  All of our i's are dotted and our t's are crossed.  Now we wait, and we pray, and we prepare for the journey to bring Jenny home.

A New November

It's funny how life works.  Exactly one year ago, we had no idea that November is National Adoption Awareness Month.  And now here we are, neck-deep into our own international adoption and advocating for orphan justice around the world.  Our journey started with a magazine article.  This guest blog was written by Crystal Kupper, author of that article, adoptive mother, and mentor.   Thanks, Crystal!

My career is literally wordy. As a freelance writer, I transfer what’s running through my or someone else’s mind and put it on the paper and screen. In that sense, words are transactional for me, a mere business move, counted blots of ink that add up to a paycheck.

But a simple transaction is rarely my goal. I want to make my readers laugh, think, pause, be moved, cry or ponder (and if I can make them do it all in one article, even better). I want my words to be the spark that lights a fire. I want anything and everything I write to push someone to action to make this world a more just place.

Every so often, not only does this happen, but I get to hear about it. Such is the case with the Etter family.

Tara has already told many of you how our families met — first indirectly through reading my work in a magazine, then in real life this year. This is crazy-cool in and of itself: that something I wrote generated a wonderful, in-person friendship.

 But this story is about so much more than connection over Easter egg hunts, family dinners, baseball games and dessert. It’s about the power of the press to change a little girl’s life — and that of a family thousands of miles away.

Tara and Justin may have eventually embarked on the adventure of international special needs adoption without me, sure. But when they read my article about adopting my own daughter last November, a God-inspired light came on, and they obeyed now. Hearing the very real fears and trials my husband and I went through demystified the process (if we could do it, anyone can!), and suddenly it didn’t matter how hard they knew the process would be; they just had to get to Jenny.

On my end, knowing that a family was adopting (especially through Reece’s Rainbow, the organization that photolisted both of our daughters) blessed my socks off. But the story doesn’t end there. Because exactly one year after reading mine, Citizen magazine readers are reading Tara’s adoption story this month.

Guyana reads her ripple effect article!

That’s right; Tara is a nationally published author! (She’s not the greatest at tooting her own horn, but I am more than happy to do. She knocked it out of the park!).

More importantly, this chain of families finding their children has another chance to continue. If the Etters read the Kupper’s story and were then moved to create their own, can it not happen again — perhaps to even more families and waiting orphans? I certainly pray so!

May this article move you and your own little family to action. May it inspire others across the States to examine how they can personally get involved in orphan justice. May it see another article come out next November (National Adoption Awareness Month, not coincidentally) on how the Etters’ story began another chapter in a new family.

Most importantly, may every single one of my and Tara’s words translate into love from the Father straight into the heart of a waiting child. 

A Father's Perspective

By Justin

It's clear God has a heart for widows and orphans, as was illustrated in our previous post on how the Bible calls upon us to take care of them.

Justin, portraying Jesus in Graceway Bible Church's "Christmas Live"!

During this adoption process, I keep reflecting on one specific event in the Bible.  In the book of John, there is a moment while Jesus is being crucified.  Almost immediately preceding his death, he performs yet another miracle.  At least, in light of our current circumstances, it seems like a miracle to me.

This moment occurs after Jesus, the perfect and sinless Messiah of the world, had already carried and incurred the entirety of sin, pain and anguish of His creation.  After He had already been humiliated, with soldiers throwing the equivalent of dice to see who would get His tunic, right there in front of Him.  After being mocked by the crowd while He suffered for each of them.

The moment is recorded in John 19:25-27:

Therefore, the soldiers did these things.  But standing by the cross of Jesus were His mother, and His mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas and Mary Magdalene.  When Jesus saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, "Dear Woman, behold your son!"  Then He said to the disciple, "Behold your mother!"  From that hour the disciple took her into his own household.

The miracle is that Jesus created a family!   Although the passage is primarily cited as an example of God's caring for widows (housing a widow was customary with Jewish law at the time), I keep coming back to the fact that Jesus didn't just say "Hey, you should take care of this woman!"  He used words reserved for an extremely personal relationship:  "mother" and "son."

In this moment, Jesus was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.  Bleeding, crushed, humiliated and about two or three breaths away from death.  And what did He do?  In the few minutes remaining before yielding His spirit, He created a family?!  He provided a mother to a son and a son to a mother.  After this, Jesus stated "It is finished," and died.*

Out of the chaos surrounding the cross of pain, suffering, fear, hate, and rejection, Jesus used love to create a family.  Two people's lives were unified in that moment.  It is a testimony to the importance of family to God.

I keep reflecting on this moment in the Bible.  It echos back to when our path toward adopting Jenny became a reality all those months ago.  As we were scrolling through the "other angels" pictures on Reece's Rainbow, Jenny's page struck us in a special way.

Although her story certainly spoke to our hearts, it was her picture that stood out.  It felt familiar, like we were looking at a picture of our child.  It felt as though Jesus said to us "Behold your daughter!"

Almost 2,000 years later and Jesus is still making families through adoption.  It's a blessing that He's using us for His purpose!

*The resurrection of Jesus Christ from the grave occurred three days later, as He overcame sin and death.

Jenny is Our Starfish

This entire journey has made us become full-fledged adoption advocates.   That's actually one of the main reasons we started this blog:  to make others aware of the need for children all around the world to become part of loving families.  Crystal shared her story and it touched our lives.  Why can't God use our story to do the same?  We realize that we're just one ripple on this vast ocean and God can use our little ripple to make big waves.  

Avinly, Guyanna & Vivien

Justin helping Guyanna roast marshmallows

A simple Google search on "Adoption Statistics" will give you a deluge of information on how many adoptions occur each year and from which countries, etc.  UNICEF estimates that there are 140 million orphans in the world.  In 2016, Americans adopted 5,370 children from other countries.  A drop in the bucket.  Reece's Rainbow is 11 years old this year.  Through those years, over 1,772 disabled children have found forever homes.

(Image taken from Reece's Rainbow homepage)

Not everyone can adopt...we realize that.  But everyone can do something!  The Bible has plenty to say about caring for widows and orphans.  God has a special heart for these members of society because of their vulnerability.  We are tasked to care for them, there's no denying that.

Exodus 22:22:  You shall not afflict any widow or orphan.
Deuteronomy 10:18:  He executes justice for the orphan and widow.
Deuteronomy 24:17:  You shall not pervert the justice due an alien or an orphan.
Psalms 10:18:  Vindicate the orphan and the oppressed.
Isaiah 1:17:  Defend the orphan; plead for the widow.
Zechariah 7:10:  Do not oppress the widow or the orphan.
Hosea 14:3:  For in you the orphan finds mercy.

That day, back in December when we visited www.reecesrainbow.org for the first time, we were blown away by the number of kids who need loving forever families.  We wanted to take them all into our home, into our arms, and share God's love with them.  Our hearts break that we can't make a difference to all of them.

Or can we? We pray for those kids...every day and every night, there is at least one Reece's Rainbow child that crosses our minds and into our prayers.  And we have literally seen the power of specific prayers change a child's status from "Waiting" to "My Family Found Me".  (Meet Reese for the Howard Family)

And of course we're going to make a difference to this one: Jenny.  Jenny is our starfish, and for her, we will fight.  For her, we will endure these paper-cuts.  For her we will sit in these awful Lab Corp waiting rooms.  For her we will decipher 20 pages of instructions pertaining to a 2-page government form.

We will make a difference for Jenny.  And we will continue to fight for orphan justice.

140 million minus 1.