The Ghost of Jenny

Let us preface this post by affirming that we don't believe in ghosts.  At all.  (And any debate to the contrary would be met with scriptural references to man being appointed to die only once and spiritual warfare being waged all around our three-dimensional bodies and minds.)

Saving a seat for Jenny

But we have seen the ghost of Jenny in our house.  She's not a ghost in the sense that she was once here and is now gone.  Her ghost is the manifestation of our hope for her.  In much the same way that a pregnant mother can picture her life with her new baby, we can picture this tumbling happy almost-five-year old joining our family and living with us. 

Sometimes her ghost will enter a room and quietly take her place on the couch between us as we snuggle watching a movie.  Sometimes she and Vivien play tea party in the basement, or race their Little People cars down the toddler slide, or put together a puzzle. WeI've seen her sitting next to Vivien at our kitchen island, sharing a string cheese or a cup of yogurt.

Vivien could use some help from her big sister!

We can see her and she is as real to us as Vivien is.  She fits in this house.  In this family.  There's a place for her at our table and there's a bedroom for her upstairs.  We've started to get in the habit of buying two of everything, one for Vivien and one for Jenny.   

We're still waiting.  This time, we're waiting for approval from Jenny's country.  (Hopefully the government in her country is more efficient than our own.)   This stretch of waiting is by far the hardest.  There's not a single thing left for us to do to move this process along.  All of our paperwork has been turned in and now we simply wait.

This adoption journey is over a year long at this point.  Along the way, we've seen friends become pregnant, give birth, and post dozens of newborn snuggle pictures all over social media.  And we still wait.  It doesn't seem fair, and yet we know that God's timing is impeccable.  The waiting has become a daily burden, slowly stretching into weeks, months and now years.  It's hard.  It stinks.  We're awful at it. 

Waiting stinks!

But each day is a new day to trust God, to be reminded of His grace.  Each day is a day to have our hearts strengthened by His love and mercy.  Each day, we pray that we'll hear approvals from Jenny's country, that we'll be able to petition for a court date for the adoption and that we'll be given travel dates to finally meet our daughter.  And each day, God's mercies are new and this journey gets handed over to Him. 

One Year Later

It was exactly one year ago today, on a cold January 3rd morning, when we knew our family would be expanding to include the adorable, dark-haired, spunky child featured all over these pages.

As the dust settles on another hectic holiday season, we've been quietly reflecting on all that 2017 has meant to us and all that it has taught us.  And even though Jenny is still so far away, she somehow seems closer than ever.  It's only a matter of God's time.  Soon we will board a plane to Eastern Europe.  Until that invitation comes, however, we want to reflect on this journey and thank all who have personally been touched by it.

January 2017 - It began when we read an article by our new bestie, Crystal Kupper.  Crystal and her family have become dear friends, sharing holidays, birthdays, and rejoicing in every milestone in our adoption journey.  We can't wait for Jenny to meet her "Auntie Crystal" - the woman, the mentor, the legend.  We submit a "Letter of Intent" to adopt Jenny and begin the long, arduous process of completing a homestudy.

April 2017 -  With an almost-completed homestudy in our pockets, we get the news that Jenny is able to be adopted by an American family and we are on our way to being approved for her!  This was huge news that came after a halt was placed on all international adoptions from Jenny's country. An exception was made for her since she's considered "difficult to place" due to her respiratory condition.

May 2017 - We go public with our news and confuse quite a few people by stating that Vivien is going to become a "little sister!"  We are more than overwhelmed by the love and support of our friends and family, many of whom have also been touched by adoption and fostering in some way.  We become sponges, soaking up advice and well-wishes.  Our fundraising efforts will top well over $5,000 by the end of the calendar year - a testament to God's provision along this expensive and uncertain path forged by faith. 

Summer 2017 - Paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork.  We are busy obtaining fingerprints, birth certificates, and blood samples (literally) to submit our dossier to Jenny's country.  By the middle of September, every necessary document, certified twice over, is en route to the adoption agency in Jenny's country.  We are also blessed by numerous fundraising efforts, from LuLaRoe to yardsales.

 


October 2017 - Jenny's country submits her medical information, birth certificate and other court documents to us in an official referral.  Of course, we say YES to this referral and quickly apply to USCIS to begin the process to obtain a VISA for her.  We also learn quite a bit more about her medical condition, current living arrangements, and custodial history.  We connect with the international adoption department at CHOP as well as their pulmonology department in order to prepare for her arrival in our family.  We also complete a 9 week adoption course called Empowered to Connect which equips us with strategies to parent a child from a hard place.

December 2017 - The US has approved Jenny's VISA and the file is forwarded to the central authority in Jenny's country for final approval.  All of our i's are dotted and our t's are crossed.  Now we wait, and we pray, and we prepare for the journey to bring Jenny home.