Quarantine Cocoon

The #Covidquarantine has been like a major timeout sanctioned by God - something that the Etter family learned to appreciate during the last 13 weeks of confinement within our household.  We stopped.  No restaurants, no shopping trips, no Six Flags, no baseball games, no running and running and running.  We just stopped. 

The "experts" highly recommend cocooning in the days and weeks following an international adoption, an idea at which the very busy and always-moving Etter family scoffed.  We're always on the go, so Niky better get used to it! 

And then God said stop.  Just be. 

So we did.

Like many, our new normal has been a struggle.  We are both blessed to be working full-time from home, but it does come with a new set of challenges as we've been parenting and schooling our two preschoolers while working our jobs.  Vivien's academic preschool had plenty of seat-work for her to do and held Zoom classes at least twice a week.  Niky had a tele-therapy session via Zoom every single weekday, plus two class sessions, and was offered a one-on-one teacher session which we politely declined to participate in because, well let's just say it: no human being, let alone a special needs child, should be subjected to 8 zoom meetings in a single week.

Ready to Zoom!

All of this extra together time has been a struggle, but it's also been a great bonding opportunity for us as a family and has led to the following enlightenment:  Niky today is the boy we thought we were picking up in August.  What do we mean by this?  Our expectations of Niky's cognitive capabilities and interests were significantly above and beyond what he was capable of during the days and weeks after we picked him up and brought him home.  This realization came to us after dinner last night.  Last night Niky was sitting on the floor reading a Seek & Find book, pointing to pictures and asking "What the?"

Eight months ago, Niky didn't have enough language, either in English or Bulgarian, to express this question, nor did he have any interest in sitting still, let alone looking at a picture book for any length of time.  This is a testament to just how far he has come in 10 months.  Now his current favorite activity is playing "peek-a-boo."  We are keenly aware of how far he has come, and yet how far he still has to go.

We used to have bad days...now we just have bad moments and they (mostly) never feel insurmountable like they once did.  And we have bonded significantly and learned to trust each other, which makes the tantrums and trauma slightly more bearable and certainly more understandable.  

We hope you, too, have had a chance to breathe.  Amidst all of the uncertainty, the fear, the isolation, one thing has always remained:  God is in control.  He knows what we need, even when we think we're doing just fine.

WE HAVE A COURT DATE!!!!

Hold everything and alert the presses: The Etter Family has an adoption court date!!!!

On June 21, 2019, a national judge in a faraway country will officially grant that the Etters have a son!

We do not have to be present for this court ruling.  Part of the adoption paperwork process is obtaining background investigations, medical records, and home study reports so mind-mindbogglingly thorough that the adoption agency attorney is able to represent us, an American couple she has never met or even spoken to or communicated with.

Viv sees a light at the end of the Rainbow!

What happens next?  We should hear of the judge's ruling by the end of that day, or early the next day (after all, they are 5 hours ahead of us over there).  Then we'll be invited on Trip 2:  The Pick-up Trip.  And then, at long last, we'll be a family of 4!!

We expect to travel 4-6 weeks after the court date - so by the end of July. 

Please continue to pray for us as we anticipate this added blessing to our family...we know there will some tough times ahead of us, but we also know that we have the support of so many of you, and that we're not in this alone!  Above all, God is in control! 

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you."

Family in Waiting

There's something special about this time of year.  Spring flowers, freshly cut grass, and chirping birds are the harbingers of longer days and warmer temps.  They bring a certain hope.  A hope to grasp and cling to.

At this very moment, we are at the exact same place on the international adoption timeline where we were with the adoption of "Jenny."  The US Embassy in N's country has issued the "Article 5 Letter" to the Ministry in N's country.  This letter essentially states that the adoption is copacetic with all of the Hague requirements of an international adoption and that N is allowed to immigrate to the US as our child.

Now we're waiting for a court date.  The court proceedings will take place in N's country and a member of the adoption agency will represent us which will save us a trip across the world.  Once the judge decrees the adoption as official, N will get his passport and we'll be invited to go pick him up.

We've been here before. And we take nothing for granted.  We have heard that no judge has denied a family in Hague history.  After all, to make it even this far requires much effort and scrutiny from both American and foreign authorities.

A picture Vivien drew of her with her little brother (Apr 27, 2019).

It has been a while since our last blog post - and people are starting to wonder.  Golly, even we are starting to wonder.  Where's our paperwork?  Who's our judge?  Why haven't we been given a court date yet?  Every week that passes is another week without our son.  It's a week farther from the bonds that we tried to leave with him back in March.

Until we get the call, we'll keep praying:  Father, please put our paperwork into the right hands today.  Allow our case to be scheduled and progress to be made on this journey.  And in the meantime, please continue to prepare our hearts and minds to add this little one to our home.  In Christ's precious and all-powerful name, Amen.  

The Journey Continues

Grief is a funny thing.  Each person handles it so differently.  I've grieved the loss of a beloved pet.  I've grieved the loss of my daddy way sooner than anyone should have to.  And now I can say I've grieved the loss of a child I never had.  Talk about not being fair or not having closure.  How is one supposed to move on from something like that?

I'll tell you how:  by realizing this loss is part of a bigger picture.

And maybe, just maybe, the Journey to Jenny was never supposed to lead us to Jenny.

So, our journey continues.  If you're still here for the ride, we covet your prayers.  It hurts to re-embark on this journey.  It's like re-opening a wound that never healed.  But God has given the Etters a heart for adoption.  And so we press on.  To pray for the orphan; to intercede and defend; to bring an unwanted child into our lives. 

Buckle up.  This journey rolls on!

The End of the Journey to Jenny

On Monday, June 18th, we received the phone call we'd been praying for since December:  The Ministry approved our Article 5 Letter!  This meant that we could now petition the local courts in Jenny's region to set a date for the adoption hearing.  As soon as I heard the news, I started mentally packing our bags and putting a hold on our mail.

There was just one pretty big devastating snag of a hiccup: On the same day a foster family from Jenny's country had finally stepped forward for her.

If you've been following our journey from the beginning, you probably already know what that means.  The current administration in her country is extremely nationalistic and wants their kids to stay put.  This means that even an out-of-the-blue foster family > a willing, able and loving family from a foreign country.  Even if that foreign family has been waiting and praying specifically for her for over 18 months.  

Even if that family has a bedroom already prepared for her.  
Even if that family has already consulted the world's best pediatric pulmonary doctors.
Even if that family's friends and loved ones have prayed and donated time, efforts, resources and acts of every kindness to bring her home.
Even if that family thought they were following God's plan to make Jenny their daughter.   

A room full of books, clothes, gifts, and love - all ready for Jenny.

Our only thread of hope was that the potential foster family would be found inadequate to care for her and her special needs.  We prayed.  But we weren't sure exactly what we were praying for.

The news came two days later, in a place and a way that only God could have orchestrated.  

It was Adoption Advocacy Day and we were in Washington DC, literally on the steps of the Capitol Building with an agenda chock full of meetings with New Jersey Congressmen and Senators.  We were surrounded by a busload of various adoption professionals, including two from our own adoption agency, when we got the most devastating news: Jenny's potential foster family was actually perfect for her and wanted to adopt her.

And just like that, our journey to Jenny had come to an end.

We realized the irony of our devastation.  For Jenny, it means not having to leave the only country, culture and language she's ever known.  It means she'll get a forever family...and wasn't that what this journey was all about in the first place?

But our hurt is deep.  The wound is still raw.  How do you grieve the loss of something you never really had to begin with?  Yes, we're questioning God.  Why?  How could this happen?  Did we not hear His direction clearly?  Were we wrong?  Was this not His will for our family?  Why allow us to get this far?  

Did we travel this journey to be humbled?  To be refined?  To strengthen relationships with many of you who have supported us along the way? Did we experience this loss so that we could comfort others on similar journeys?  Did our own journey raise awareness in Jenny's country and ultimately allow her to find her perfect forever family?  Was our journey to Jenny really just a catalyst to a bigger journey yet to be known or to another child whom God has planned for us?

The answers may never come, and we have to be okay with that.  Because God really is bigger.  His ways are not our ways and His plans are not our plans (Isaiah 55:8-9).  

Make no mistake:  Jenny will always be part of our family.  When you come visit us, you will be greeted by her pictures hanging on our walls. Vivien will still speak of her "big sister" and we'll still pray for her every night. And we will run to her and embrace her as our own in the Promised Land someday.  

This may be the end of "The Journey to Jenny," but the road is still stretched far ahead of us and we know the One who guides us forward.  Thank you, friend, for being along for the ride.  

Mr. Smith goes to Washington

Jenny's country has not issued a single approval to a foreign family yet in 2018 which many of us feel is in violation of the Hague Convention protecting children's rights to families as well as a grievous human rights violation.

These waiting children need families.  

United Vee Stands

But where is the justice?  What is our recourse?  We're dealing with a foreign government, after all.

About a month ago, a few friends mentioned that we should reach out to our Congressman.  We balked at the idea thinking it would ruffle feathers in Jenny's country.  But as the dust started to thicken on our file overseas, we fought hard trying to hear God's direction.

Was it "Be still and know" or "Fight for your daughter"?

Our Congressman is Rep. Chris Smith (NJ-4).  Leaving partisanship off the table, we began to research what he could do for us and for Jenny.  We discovered that he was quite possibly the best person we could have in our court.

• Co-Chair of the Commission on Security and Cooperation in Europe (US Helsinki Commission)
• Co-Chair of the Bipartisan Congressional Pro-Life Caucus
• Co-Chair of the Congressional Caucus on Poland
• Senior Member of the House Committee on Foreign Affairs
• Member of the Congressional Human Rights Caucus
• Member of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption

On Thursday, June 14th, we met with his District Director, Mr. Jeff Sagnip, in our local office.  During the two hour meeting, we laid everything on the table:  our concerns with Jenny's country placing a silent moratorium on foreign adoptions leaving waiting families and children in limbo; the lack of support and transparency from DOS and the OCI, and the drastic decline of international adoptions in general.

Meanwhile, in God's perfect timing and at the urging of another family who is also waiting for approval from Jenny's country, we signed up to attend the "National Adoption Advocacy Day" in Washington DC being held on Wednesday, June 20.  This day was organized by the National Council for Adoption (NCFA) and was designed to alert various representatives in DC on current issues and legislation affecting the adoption community as a whole.  We signed up to attend to draw specific attention to the issue we're facing with our international adoption.

When Jeff heard that we were going to be on the Hill the following week, he urged us to schedule a meeting with Rep. Smith's office while there.  He briefed Rep. Smith and his appropriate staff on our situation and organized our meeting with Mr. Mark Milosch, Deputy Chief of Staff and member of the Helsinki Commission, and Ms. Monica Herman, Legislative Assistant to Rep. Smith.  

#makeadoptiongreatagain

Mr. Milosch and Ms. Herman were both extremely sympathetic to our story and we're certain they will do all that they can to assist us where, and if, they are able.  

We aren't sure yet what the outcome of our meetings will be for us personally.  But it was an honor to be able to bring our personal concerns to individuals who may be able to prevent these circumstances from happening to another adoptive family in the future.  

Love is Bigger Than Anything in Its Way

The Etters love U2. 

When we heard about the summer 2018 American leg of their "Experience & Innocence" tour, we faced the reality that we would have to miss the boys this year because we'd be home "nesting" with our newly adopted foreign-language daughter suffering from a severe medical condition. 

When it became clear that our dream of bringing Jenny home wasn't going to be happening anytime soon, we secured some over-prices tickets from Stubhub and caught the June 13th show in Philly (Tara's 7th time, for those keeping record). 

In true U2 fashion, the guys put on a great show with an eclectic set list of old and mostly new stuff.  It was a bittersweet show for us as we kept thinking "We shouldn't even be here" and the tears flowed freely as Bono crooned a song from the new album called "Love is Bigger Than Anything in Its Way." 

This journey to Jenny has been fraught with uncertainty, disappointment and at times, little more than blind hope.  But Bono is right.  Love really is bigger than anything in its way.  And we know that love will #bringjennyhome someday.

The door is open to go through

If I could I would come too

But the path is made by you

As you‘re walking, start singing and stop talking

Oh

If I could hear myself when I say 

Oh

Love is bigger than anything in its way

So young to be the words of your own song 

I know the rage in you is strong

Write a world where we can belong

to each other and sing it like no other

Oh

If I could hear myself when I say 

Oh

Love is bigger than anything in its way

If the moonlight caught you crying on Killiney Bay

Oh sing your song, let your song be sung

If you listen you can hear the silence say 

When you think you’re done, you’ve just begun

Love is bigger than anything in its way 

Love is bigger than anything in its way 

Love is bigger than anything in its way. 

What does Moses have to do with our Adoption?

As most of you are aware, we've hit a devastating snag in our adoption journey.  As our placing agency representative traveled to Eastern Europe the week of April 8 to advocate on behalf of us and three other families who have made it this far (two of which have already been denied and are in the process of appealing), we dropped to our knees in prayer for her and the ministry officials she met with.

The past few months, our church has been doing a study of Moses and the Exodus.  What does this part of Israel's history have to do with our adoption journey?  Actually, a lot more than you'd think, but there was one specific passage that stuck out to us recently.

Exodus 30 and the "Altar of Incense."  Admittedly, Exodus is a difficult book to read - there's a lot of intricately detailed instructions that God gives to Moses:  construction plans for the tabernacle and everything in it, all the way down to the undergarments for the priests who would work there.  It makes sense that God would be so picky...after all, the tabernacle was literally His home on earth.  Yes, He actually came and dwelt among the Israelites at the mercy seat over the ark of the testimony. 

The Altar of Incense inside the Tabernacle of the Israelites

There were many different components to God's home on earth, but the one we're focusing on here is the altar of incense.   "You shall put this altar in front of the veil that is near the ark of the testimony, where I will meet with you.  Aaron shall burn fragrant incense on it" (Ex 30: 6-7a).

You see, in the Bible, incense is always a picture of prayer.  "Let my prayer be set before you as incense" (Psalm 141:2).  It's sweet-smelling and pleasing to God and it rises up to meet him.  For the Israelites in Moses day, the priests had to make intercession for the people, and even then, there was a thick curtain separating them from God's presence.  When the incense burned, it would waft through the curtain and reach God.

Today we have it even better!   There's no more altar, there are no more priests acting on our behalf, and there's no more curtain separating us from God.  We are free to approach him directly:  "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" (Phil 4:6).

Not only are we able to approach God directly with our requests, but we also have the Holy Spirit who intercedes for us even when we don't know what to pray for!

https://www.desiringgod.org/labs/the-spirit-helps-us-in-our-weakness

Did you catch that?  "With groanings too deep for words."  Sometimes there literally are no words.

Such was the case on the morning of Friday, April 13.  At the exact moment these advocacy meetings were taking place halfway around the world, we knew there literally hundreds of people all over the world, maybe yourself included, who were praying the same prayer.  And when we ran out of words, the Holy Spirit took over for us!

I pictured our prayers all rising up - from Georgia, Michigan, California, Oregon, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Jenny's country - all rising up like incense, mingling together, joining in the air and becoming one sweet-smelling fragrance to the Lord our God.  What an awesome God we have - who accepts and hears our prayers and gives his Spirit to pray on our behalf!

Now let's PRAY JENNY HOME!!!

Your Part in the Journey

We wanted to thank each and every person who came to Jenny's birthday party fundraiser earlier this month!  It was such a blessing to spend time with our friends and family who have meant so much to us over the past year as we prepare for Jenny's arrival into our lives.  We were overwhelmed with the love for Vivien before her birth and we are likewise overwhelmed with the love you all have for Jenny - a little girl half a world away who has stolen all of our hearts.  We can't wait for you to meet her!

If you didn't get the chance to stop by the party to film your birthday greeting or sign the back of her puzzle, we would still like to extend that opportunity to you!  Contact us to get in on the fun!

If you played a part in this journey, please sign one of Jenny's puzzle pieces!

As you're probably aware by now, International adoption is expensive. Like stupid expensive.  Think about it - travel and accommodation expenses alone can mount to upwards of $10,000!  And that doesn't include court fees, application and fingerprinting fees, and home study fees.  Fees, fees, fees!  Unfortunately, this reality keeps so many amazing couples from taking the steps to adopt.

When we first made the decision to adopt, one of the things that we wrestled over was whether or not we would do any fundraising. There aren’t many things more humbling than asking other people for money. It sucks honestly! It’s uncomfortable. It’s vulnerable. 

We began this journey knowing that God wants Jenny to be an Etter someday.  And we also know that He will provide for this journey to which he has called us.  He already has in so many ways.  We had enough in our savings to get the process started, but the rest was a leap of faith.

The more we talked about it, the more we understood that it isn’t about asking people for money, but asking them to be a part of our story. Jenny's story, in how she got to come home. Whenever we had the urge to decline someone's generosity, we stifled our pride and listened to the meek little voice inside of us that said "Let them bless you."

And you have blessed us in a huge way!  Whether you bought a pair of leggings from one of our LuLaRoe fundraisers, donated an old toy for our fall yardsale, or made a donation to our Reece's Rainbow Sponsorship Page, we can't thank you enough.

Between all of the fundraiser, auctions, and yard sales, combined with our Reece's Rainbow campaign, we have been able to raise over $7,000 toward the cost of bringing Jenny home!  

Even better news?  We believe that we will be FULLY FUNDED for the rest of the fees that await us in this journey!  Praise the Lord!  And it's all because of your generosity, prayers and encouragement!  Words cannot express our gratitude.

THANK YOU!

Not every family is as fortunate, however, and not every child has a family preparing for her.  If you still feel led to give, we invite you to peruse the children and families on Reece's Rainbow and see how you might be led to make a difference for another child in need of a family!  Lack of finances should never be the reason a child doesn't have a family.  

Even though the fundraising portion of our journey is over, please know that we will continue to advocate for others who view the cost of adoption as a brick wall in their journey toward becoming a family.  

One Year Later

It was exactly one year ago today, on a cold January 3rd morning, when we knew our family would be expanding to include the adorable, dark-haired, spunky child featured all over these pages.

As the dust settles on another hectic holiday season, we've been quietly reflecting on all that 2017 has meant to us and all that it has taught us.  And even though Jenny is still so far away, she somehow seems closer than ever.  It's only a matter of God's time.  Soon we will board a plane to Eastern Europe.  Until that invitation comes, however, we want to reflect on this journey and thank all who have personally been touched by it.

January 2017 - It began when we read an article by our new bestie, Crystal Kupper.  Crystal and her family have become dear friends, sharing holidays, birthdays, and rejoicing in every milestone in our adoption journey.  We can't wait for Jenny to meet her "Auntie Crystal" - the woman, the mentor, the legend.  We submit a "Letter of Intent" to adopt Jenny and begin the long, arduous process of completing a homestudy.

April 2017 -  With an almost-completed homestudy in our pockets, we get the news that Jenny is able to be adopted by an American family and we are on our way to being approved for her!  This was huge news that came after a halt was placed on all international adoptions from Jenny's country. An exception was made for her since she's considered "difficult to place" due to her respiratory condition.

May 2017 - We go public with our news and confuse quite a few people by stating that Vivien is going to become a "little sister!"  We are more than overwhelmed by the love and support of our friends and family, many of whom have also been touched by adoption and fostering in some way.  We become sponges, soaking up advice and well-wishes.  Our fundraising efforts will top well over $5,000 by the end of the calendar year - a testament to God's provision along this expensive and uncertain path forged by faith. 

Summer 2017 - Paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork.  We are busy obtaining fingerprints, birth certificates, and blood samples (literally) to submit our dossier to Jenny's country.  By the middle of September, every necessary document, certified twice over, is en route to the adoption agency in Jenny's country.  We are also blessed by numerous fundraising efforts, from LuLaRoe to yardsales.

 


October 2017 - Jenny's country submits her medical information, birth certificate and other court documents to us in an official referral.  Of course, we say YES to this referral and quickly apply to USCIS to begin the process to obtain a VISA for her.  We also learn quite a bit more about her medical condition, current living arrangements, and custodial history.  We connect with the international adoption department at CHOP as well as their pulmonology department in order to prepare for her arrival in our family.  We also complete a 9 week adoption course called Empowered to Connect which equips us with strategies to parent a child from a hard place.

December 2017 - The US has approved Jenny's VISA and the file is forwarded to the central authority in Jenny's country for final approval.  All of our i's are dotted and our t's are crossed.  Now we wait, and we pray, and we prepare for the journey to bring Jenny home.

The High; The Low; But God

An emotional roller coaster.  That's what this journey is.  And if it's done nothing else, it has strengthened our faith in God.  For his mercy, his grace, his wisdom, and his provision.

Yesterday, in a matter of hours, we went from the highest high to the scariest low.

The High

The adoption agency emailed us to let us know we got Jenny's referral and it's in the process of being translated!!  This is HUGE news.  It means that the authorities in her country have determined us to be a suitable family for this precious child and they are now "referring" her to us for adoption (like it was their idea!)  Normally, this is when a family will be introduced to their potential child and they'll review the child's file and records and make a decision to either adopt that child or ask for the referral of another child.

Obviously we had already prayed about and made this decision way back in January.  Jenny is ours.

The Etters are all in!

Once we get the official referral after it's translated, we will be able to send it to US Citizenship & Immigration Services (USCIS) for their approval of Jenny.  (As you'll recall, they have already approved us as a family...now they need to approve the child).  Once they approve her for immigration to the US, they will kick her file over to the US Dept of State and we'll begin to work on obtaining her Immigrant VISA.

Meanwhile, in Jenny's country they will be working on assigning her case to a court and a judge who will then set a date for the proceedings and determine the amount of bonding time they will require for us prior to the court date.  They will tell us when and for long long we will travel.

We see a light at the end of this adoption paperwork tunnel.  God is inching the door open and we can almost squeeze through!  This is actually happening!

The Low

The realities of adopting a child with special needs is not lost on us.  We do not enter into this lightly, and we have calculated the cost of adopting a child from a hard place with extra special needs.  The emotional baggage that Jenny will bring in addition to her physical baggage is daunting.  

We are currently in the middle of a 9 week adoptive parenting course called Empowered to Connect.  One of our homework assignments was to "count the cost" of our adoption.  Our answers were "money and time".  She's going to need medical care, speech therapy, and probably psychological care as well.  These things may or may not be covered by our medical insurance.  And they will certainly cost us time:  time away from our jobs as we run her to doctors appointment and meet with her teachers, time away from Vivien as we deal with Jenny's needs.  The cost is overwhelming.

We haven't studied this hard since college!

A few hours after we got confirmation of the referral, we had a consultation with a doctor from the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia's International Adoption Program.  She was very familiar with the typical needs of internationally adopted children and she shed some light on the potential cognitive and development issues that Jenny might experience as an institutionalized child.     

She also gave us some things to consider regarding Jenny's physical limitations due to her "chronic respiratory failure at night."  While she couldn't make definitive recommendations due to the lack of official medical files for this child on the other side of the world, she did want us to consider the fact that Jenny might need an in-home nurse to monitor her each night and that many commercial airlines may not allow a mechanically ventilated passenger so we need to consider how we're going to get her home.  The very expensive-sounding words "medical transport" were used.

But God

We left the consultation enlightened.  It's impossible to know everything that Jenny will need or experience until she's home and in our care.  But for now we have some homework to do and some phone calls to our insurance company to make.  We have a direction.  And that direction is forward.  It's a direction ordained by God and he has laid the path ahead of us.  We travel forward knowing where our help comes from.

I life up my eyes to the mountains - 

ehere does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip - 

he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you - 

the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm - 

he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

Psalm 121

Trash & Treasures

Honestly?  We hate garage sales.  With the fiery passion of a thousand hot burning suns.  We get offended when people don't want to own our stuff (what do you mean you don't want a souvenir glass from our trip to the Rain Forest Cafe in Atlantic City?), and neither of us is very good at haggling.

Justin:  What do you mean you won't pay $10 for this slightly chipped and very stained serving dish?  

Tara:  Here let me pay YOU to take this all of this clutter away from me! 

We find ourselves falling into these two extremes with very little consideration for a middle ground.

So when our friend suggested that we hold a garage sale fundraiser as a way to raise money for our massive and ever-growing adoption fees, we balked at the idea.  But after we gave it some thought, we realized that holding a garage sale fundraiser would allow Jenny's life to touch entirely new demographics of people.

And ultimately, that's what this journey is all about.

First there were our friends who wanted to be a blessing to us, but perhaps couldn't necessarily make a monetary donation toward our Family Sponsorship Page.  By hosting a sale where they could donate their gently loved items, it allowed them to contribute in a very meaningful way to our fundraising efforts.

An overflowing garage = overflowing hearts.

We can't express our thanks enough to those who donated to the sale.  Our garage was overflowing with the outpouring of donations.  Each and every item that was dropped off held meaning to us.  It had been loved once and would hopefully be loved again.  These things, used and loved and ultimately discarded, would mean life and hope for someone new.  Perhaps for the person who bought it at our garage sale, but mostly for Jenny, who sits, herself discarded, in an eastern European group home for sick children.  

Then there were the complete strangers who came to the sale.  Those from our community whom we had never met before, many of them asking for details on the adoption, on Jenny, and giving their own words of encouragement.  One shopper told stories of how she had once been a foster parent, and another recalled early memories of having lived in an orphanage himself until he was 3.

My favorite was an older lady who was rummaging through the boys' clothes and said she was going to be sending them to a young man in [Jenny's country].  My jaw dropped and I pointed to the picture of Jenny and explained the fundraiser.  We exchanged a few words in Jenny's native language, excited to get a chance to practice with an expert!

Another life touched by Jenny.

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure.   This was true for the items donated to our garage sale, but how much more true is it of our hearts when it comes to what God treasures?  Isn't Jenny treasured by God?  While we cannot fathom the difficult decision her parents made when they signed away their parental rights, we do know that she is loved and she is precious to God and to us.

1 Peter 2:4 says that Jesus was "rejected by men, but chosen by God and precious to him."  He is our true treasure, chosen and precious, and all too often, we treat him as less than so.   The perfect Savior of the world, despised and rejected by us as if he were broken, worthless and ready for the rubbish bin.

What is your treasure?  "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."  (Luke 12:34)  Right now, as parents, of course our hearts are with Vivien and Jenny.  We treasure them, but (and this might come as a shock to you just as it did to us) even our children shouldn't hold the highest place in our hearts.  No, that place should belong to God and Jesus himself.  I'm not saying it always does for us.  On the contrary, it's something we need to constantly remind ourselves, every hour of every day.  But if there's one thing we're learning on this parenting and adoption journey, it's that HE should become greater, and everything else should become less.  For HE is our TREASURE.

LuLaRoe For Jenny

The very first thing we bought for Jenny was a pair of LuLaRoe leggings that match a Mommy & Me pair that Vivien and I already owned.  I cried when I paid for them and I told the LLR consultant who they were for.

And this is why our next fundraiser is particularly dear to my heart.

Meet KeRRi DailoR - Wife, Mother, Sister, Friend, MOPs leader and LuLaRoe fashion consultant.

Kerri & Newborn Noel

In February 2014, my husband Matthew and I had exactly three days' warning that our one-week old baby boy was coming home!

After a quick Target run with my best friend (who had given birth to her son literally 30 days earlier!) to get diapers, wipes, and a NoseFrida nasal aspirator (just in case) we were ready!

On Friday, the 28th of February, we loaded up an empty car seat, formula that we had no idea what to do with, tiny diapers and a 0-3 month outfit and set off!

After more than an hour of signing a tower of paperwork at the adoption agency, the door opened!  In walked Noel's birth mom holding the tiniest 6lb bundle of baby in a blue and white crocheted blanket with two itty-bitty feet popping out the bottom!  

Noel's birth dad was close behind and the two of them handed us our son to hold for the first time. And just like that we were parents!

The next 3.5 years would fly by quicker than we knew, and we were blessed to have an open relationship with Noel's birth parents.  They are able to see him grow and thrive and play with trains and worship Lightening McQueen!  They haven't missed a birthday party or museum visit yet!  We are one big family. 

We are so very thankful for the gift of adoption and what it has done for all of us.  While having a very unique start and story, we actually feel very normal.  Our normal.

I was more than ecstatic when Tara told me about Jenny and asked if I would be willing to participate in a fundraiser event.  I assumed she asked because she knew our family has been so blessed by adoption too!  Nope!  She had no idea!  She just loves LuLaRoe and thought it would be fun (and it will be!!)  How awesome to see God working in this incredible story of bringing Jenny home.  Time and time again He has stepped in and just proven to their family how this is all 100% meant to be!  I'm excited to play a very small part in bringing another child home to their family! 

Shop LULAROE KeRRi DailoR for JENNY!

So what's LuLaRoe?  Besides being my latest obsession, it's awesome, adorable, quality clothing - they are famous for their buttery soft leggings, conservative styles, and unique prints.  A portion of the proceeds from Kerri's sales during the week of Aug 22 thru Aug 28 will be donated to our Family Sponsorship Page (FSP) with Reece's Rainbow.   THANK YOU, KERRI!

Leggings for the Etter Girls!

The Disney Effect

I wonder if Jenny likes Mickey Mouse?  On a scale of 1 to 10, the Etter family is a solid 8 as far as our Disney fandom goes.  So I hope she does.   Everyone likes Mickey Mouse, right?

WDW, Jan 2017

Vivien's passion for "Dickey Mouse" and the "Hot Dog Dance" skews our fandom scale slightly, but Justin and I have been fans ever since our delayed Honeymoon in 2012.  It was his first trip (my 4th) and it happened during what those in the Northeast will recall as Superstorm Sandy. Sandy actually delayed our return home by one day so we spent our extra time in Disney sitting through their DVC membership schpiel so we could get the $50 gift cards to spend shopping at Disney Springs (still called Downtown Disney at that time).  Needless to say, we walked out of the pitch as the proud owners of a piece of Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge!  There's a sucker born every minute, right?

Since 2012, we've used our DVC points in many different places in the world..

Ireland, 2013

Hawaii, 2014

Vero Beach, FL, 2016

This past January, we used the points to take Vivien to Disney World for a week.   She was almost 2 and we brought Grams along for reinforcement.  While she enjoyed all of the rides and attractions, she was a bit intimidated that her favorite cartoon characters had jumped off of her TV screen and became 10 times bigger in real life.

Our trip came just after we began the process to adopt Jenny.  In a way, we felt a bit guilty taking a trip to the most magical place in the world without her.  See, even then she felt as much a part of this family as if she'd been born to us.  We thought of her often on that trip:  "I wonder if she'd like this ride", or "Next time, we'll be doing this with Jenny!"  

That's how many of our thoughts have been lately.  "Next time, we'll be doing this with Jenny!"  Just last week we went to the Farm Fair (a new Etter family tradition, by the way.  Apparently Vivien loves cows and pig races!)  This annual event in our county is a time-marker.  With lots of prayer, next year, Jenny will be coming with us.

  

The same was true a few evenings later as we went to the Thunder game.  We even picked up an extra foam finger for Jenny, with the hope that she'll be proudly waving it with us this time next year.

With every day, every outing, and every event that passes, we're reminding ourselves that our family is incomplete right now as we wait for our special addition.  Next time, Jenny will be here to share this moment.  We're working hard to get there.  And it'll be so worth it once we do!