Adoption is the New "Pregnant"

Adoption is the new "pregnant".  Ok, I just made that up.  Or I heard it somewhere.  But it's pretty true, at least for the Etters.   Sure, there's no morning sickness, but the paper-cuts are terrible.  And our "gestation" period might be closer to that of a manatee (13 months, in case you were wondering). And like many pregnant couples, we kept our news discreet during that fragile first "trimester".

It's hard to imagine what our lives will be like once we bring Jenny home.  All expectant parents have dreams and images of what they envision for their children.  The same is true for us as we await the arrival of our adopted daughter.

Viv & Guyana, BFFs

It will be interesting.  First of all, Vivien is going to be a little sister instead of a big sister.  At least in terms of chronological age.  All of the research and courses that we've taken on adoption indicate that Jenny most likely will exhibit a younger age in terms of her cognitive, emotional, developmental and even motor skills.  That's just the nature of having lived her whole life in a hospital or institution. We're sure she was cared for, but research has proven there is so much that hinges on a mother's and father's involvement during the very first weeks and months of a child's life.  Plus she won't know much, if any, English.

We know for sure that she'll need medical care.  And she may also need counseling or therapy like many adopted children do.  No matter what professional help Jenny requires, we know that our schedules are about to be turned upside down!  Justin and I are blessed to have jobs and supervisors who support us in this endeavor and allow for schedule and workplace flexibility.  We're also blessed to have close family and friends nearby and a wonderful, supportive and praying church family.

So we will spend the next few months converting our guest bedroom into a toddler girl's room, and we will ponder the real questions along with you:  Will she and Viv get along?  What is her favorite food?  Will she be good at math?  Does she prefer grape or strawberry jelly?  Mayo or Miracle Whip?Will she like these LuLaRoe leggings that I bought for her?

Waiting for Jenny

Before Vivien was born, we read What to Expect When You're Expecting from cover to cover.   We even highlighted it and took notes in the margins.  The Etters are nothing if not thoroughly nerdy. We also attended a breast-feeding class and birthing class that we never actually got to use because Vivien ended up being an emergency C-section because she was breach and insisted on exhibiting early signs of possessing her parents' "stubborn" gene by not turning around despite every (sometimes painful) effort to make her do so.  But I digress...

The point is....we prepared ourselves for Viv's arrival.  And now we're doing the same for Jenny's arrival. We already have 12 hours of adoption courses from Adoption Learning Partners under our belts.  This fall, we'll take a 9-week course called "Empowered to Connect" based on the theories of adoption expert Karyn Purvis.  And we continue to build our adoption library with nearly every book that's recommended to us.  See our Adoption Resources page for a list of all the books and organizations that we've used to prepare us for this journey.  

In the end, we have a feeling that Jenny's arrival will be similar to Vivien's: we'll prepare as best we can, but I don't think we'll have any concept of just how life-changing and wonderfully miraculous her addition to our family will be.  We can't wait.