Counting It All Joy

Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months.  Nikolay joined our family precisely three months and 14 days ago.  And it's taken us almost that long to be able to scratch two minutes together to hop on the blog and give an update.

But first, a note.  This blog is about our journey, not Niky's.  We in no way discount or diminish Niky's journey both before and after joining our family.  In fact, we cherish his journey and believe it's just that:  HIS journey.  And one day it will be HIS story to share if he wishes.  This blog was always, and will continue to be, about our journey.  And even though the adoption decree was handed to us on August 4th, our journey chugs along just like every other parenting journey in the world.

Owlette and Blippi, ready for treats!

The past three months have both flown by and crept along.  It's true what they say:  The days are long but the weeks are short.  We still feel a bit in limbo trying to find our "new normal."  We're not quite sure what that looks like, or if we'll ever really find it.  But for two Type-A parents, it's important for us to feel like we have some sort of control over the future.  That's probably a pipe dream for a parent, but it's one we'll go down in flames trying to pursue.

While we search for the proverbial "new normal," we do feel it's important for people to know it hasn't been an easy road and we have frequently found ourselves questioning God's plan.  In the middle of the daily battles, we literally cry out:  "This isn't what we signed up for, God!"

Behind every smiling picture are hours of tears and rage that go undocumented.  Follow our Instagram accounts and you'll see scores of picture-perfect moments like this one from the pumpkin patch.  But you won't see the reality of a special-needs breakdown that forces you to leave a half-filled grocery cart in the store.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."  (James 1:2-3, NIV)  Our faith is being tested, sometimes on an hourly basis.  The true test here is whether we believe God's purpose.

God is all-knowing, all-powerful and all-loving.  So, if we aren't exactly where we're supposed to be it means that God either a) doesn't know about it, b) can't do anything about it, or c) doesn't love us enough to change our circumstances.  We refuse to allow any of those statements to linger because we know they are lies planted by the Great Deceiver.

We have failed.  The moments where we all flip our lids are too numerous to count.  But we are learning, just as Niky is, how to be in this family.   We continue to raise our Hallelujahs and we remind ourselves that it's not by power or by strength, but by his Spirit.  And we know these trials are pure joy.