The Etters at Home

The road to adoption isn't easy.  Anyone who has followed our journey knows this to be true.  But life after adoption is no cakewalk either.  All of the training, videos, podcasts, books, classes and advice could not prepare us for life with our newest family member.  And yet, we have all grown over the past month since Niky became our son (and brother).

Retrospect is everything and looking back, we're not sure which was harder:  life with a newborn or life with a newly adopted, special needs four-year old.  They both rank up there as pretty much the hardest things we've ever done.  But we haven't been alone.  In the beginning, in that tiny Bulgarian apartment, we lived 15 minutes at a time with our new Niky, raising a "hallelujah" to thank God for getting us through another quarter hour unscathed.  Over time we gradually started to live day by day, praising Him for living to see another bedtime.  Now the days blur into weeks and we're watching progress in motion for a little boy who was all but given up on.

James 1:2 says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance."  It's been a difficult few weeks in the Etter home, and I can't say we've always responded to the tests with faith and grace.  But we do know that the more we lean on the Spirit of God we are proving our faith in Him.  I can distinctly recall each and every moment my tear-filled eyes cried out to God:  "This is too hard!  I can't do this!"  And I can also just as distinctly hear the voice of God replying back to me:  "Not by power or by might, but by my spirit."

Get Out of the Boat

This past Sunday, our pastor gave a sermon about Jesus walking on water.  How many times have I heard that story in my lifetime?  It's always been one of my favorite miracles from the Gospels.  We've even performed the scene during Christmas Live for the past few years.

You know how it goes:  The disciples start crossing the Sea of Galilee and a storm comes up.  Meanwhile, Jesus was back on land praying.  Then suddenly, the disciples see a "ghost" walking on the water!  They realize it's Jesus and Peter (a man after my own heart!) wants in on the miracle, so he steps out onto the water too. 

Did you catch that?  He stepped out on the water too.  Peter, a simple human with no God-like power whatsoever, stepped out and walked on water.  How did he do it?

Simple:  Jesus.  Oh, and the fact that Peter was willing to step out of the boat.

There is nothing in this world that could make you believe that you can walk on water.  It's just not physically possible!  Likewise, there is nothing in this world that can make the Etter family believe they can adopt a special needs child filled with trauma and show him the love of a family.

In just seven days, our lives as we know them will be forever changed.  We reminisce back to those few days before Vivien was born.  There was so much that we didn't know.  Nothing can prepare a new parent for the upheaval that a new child brings.  The same is true now for this new addition to our family.  There are plenty of unknowns.   We are excited and just a smidge terrified of them!

When we pick up Nikolay, we will be forever ripping him from the only home he has ever known.  There will be sadness and mourning that we will share with him over this.  He will grieve his life as he knew it, and we will also grieve our lives as well.   It will be difficult and tiresome for all of us - like any family with a new addition.  We will adapt, and we will learn, and we will love.

If there is anything we've learned over these last two-and-a-half years, it's to lean in on God.  Because adoption, much like parenting in general, is not done by our might or power, but by the Spirit of the Lord.

The Pick-up Trip

Our official pick-up date is August 5, 2019.  This will be the first day of the rest of our lives.  Our son will officially be ours.  While there's a court document out there somewhere saying we are his parents, we won't obtain custody until the morning of August 5th.  

We will spend about 10 days in his country while his Visa and passport are processed and then we'll make the long trek to his forever home.

We are as ready as we can be.  His room is just about ready, doctors' appointments have been scheduled, meals have been prepped, and we are ready to expect the unexpected.

As we travel (Aug 3-14), please continue to pray.  Here are the specifics:

• Pray for Vivien and her Grams as they stay at home.
• Pray for the logistics of pick-up, medical appointments and Visa interviews
• Pray for us to be able to bond with our son and vice versa.
• Pray for travel logistics (there's no good way to get from here to there!)

We are excited and overwhelmed - much like any new parents who are expecting.  But God has called us and we will follow.  "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

He created this fingerpainting during our "Meetcha Trip."  We added the hearts and the sun.  Now it's hanging in his room waiting for him.

When he comes home, he'll know he's already part of the family.

It's Official!

On Friday, June 21, in an Eastern European courtroom, a judge made it official and ruled that the Etter family may adopt our very special little boy.

A journey two and a half years in the making, with more ups and downs and turns and spins than a Six Flags roller coaster, nears the home stretch.  We are so far from where we started back in January of 2017 - spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally. 

We are currently awaiting approval for a July 22 pick-up date! 

This journey of paperwork, background checks and government approvals is about to come to a close in few weeks but the adoption journey will continue forever.  We are so grateful that you're along for the ride of a lifetime!

WE HAVE A COURT DATE!!!!

Hold everything and alert the presses: The Etter Family has an adoption court date!!!!

On June 21, 2019, a national judge in a faraway country will officially grant that the Etters have a son!

We do not have to be present for this court ruling.  Part of the adoption paperwork process is obtaining background investigations, medical records, and home study reports so mind-mindbogglingly thorough that the adoption agency attorney is able to represent us, an American couple she has never met or even spoken to or communicated with.

Viv sees a light at the end of the Rainbow!

What happens next?  We should hear of the judge's ruling by the end of that day, or early the next day (after all, they are 5 hours ahead of us over there).  Then we'll be invited on Trip 2:  The Pick-up Trip.  And then, at long last, we'll be a family of 4!!

We expect to travel 4-6 weeks after the court date - so by the end of July. 

Please continue to pray for us as we anticipate this added blessing to our family...we know there will some tough times ahead of us, but we also know that we have the support of so many of you, and that we're not in this alone!  Above all, God is in control! 

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you."

Family in Waiting

There's something special about this time of year.  Spring flowers, freshly cut grass, and chirping birds are the harbingers of longer days and warmer temps.  They bring a certain hope.  A hope to grasp and cling to.

At this very moment, we are at the exact same place on the international adoption timeline where we were with the adoption of "Jenny."  The US Embassy in N's country has issued the "Article 5 Letter" to the Ministry in N's country.  This letter essentially states that the adoption is copacetic with all of the Hague requirements of an international adoption and that N is allowed to immigrate to the US as our child.

Now we're waiting for a court date.  The court proceedings will take place in N's country and a member of the adoption agency will represent us which will save us a trip across the world.  Once the judge decrees the adoption as official, N will get his passport and we'll be invited to go pick him up.

We've been here before. And we take nothing for granted.  We have heard that no judge has denied a family in Hague history.  After all, to make it even this far requires much effort and scrutiny from both American and foreign authorities.

A picture Vivien drew of her with her little brother (Apr 27, 2019).

It has been a while since our last blog post - and people are starting to wonder.  Golly, even we are starting to wonder.  Where's our paperwork?  Who's our judge?  Why haven't we been given a court date yet?  Every week that passes is another week without our son.  It's a week farther from the bonds that we tried to leave with him back in March.

Until we get the call, we'll keep praying:  Father, please put our paperwork into the right hands today.  Allow our case to be scheduled and progress to be made on this journey.  And in the meantime, please continue to prepare our hearts and minds to add this little one to our home.  In Christ's precious and all-powerful name, Amen.  

Happy Birthday, N!

This year we celebrate with an ocean between us.  We miss you and we love you.  

We praise God for your birthday, knowing that He has a plan for your life.  We can't wait to celebrate all of your future birthdays by your side.