The Year of Adoption and 'Roe

2017 has been the year of two things in the Etter household:  Adoption and LuLaRoe.   You probably already know of my obsession with adoption since you're reading this blog.

Vivien is modeling a size 2 Mae, and I am in an Amelia dress (it has POCKETS!)

But did you know that LLR is systematically taking over every piece of clothing in my closet?  Quite literally.   Since discovering LLR last fall, I have not bought a single piece of clothing that wasn't LLR (except for a denim jacket from Target that my LLR fashion consultant, Kerri, said I simply MUST have)  The clothes are comfy and versatile (wear to work AND play?  Yes please!) and they flatter pretty much everything from a pogo-stick to a cantaloupe, which is great because I fall somewhere in-between.

Even Vivien loves LLR.  Especially since they collaborated with Mickey Mouse.  I think Justin is waiting for them to release the Star Wars leggings and then we'll all be one big happy LLR-wearing, adoption-loving family!

This past week, my two loves combined forces in a mighty way:  My sister-in-law, Rebekah, and my mother threw me a surprise pop-up LuLa Fundraiser Party AND my very dear friend and personal LLR fashionista, Kerri, is in the middle of running a week-long fundraiser sale.  Everything made through these fundraisers, with LLR matching, will be donated toward the cost of our adoption fees and expenses.

'Roe-ing with Mom and Rebekah!

LLR goodies sold during Kerri's fundraising Album Sale!

We are overwhelmed by the success of both of these fundraisers...I know we kept Becca and Kerri busy this week as you bought all the pretty things.  So here is my shout out to both Becca and Kerri - two of the greatest fashionistas I've ever met...Please support their small businesses and fall in love with LLR just like I did!

LuLaRoe by KeRRi DailoR

LuLaRoe Abigail Heise VIP

And now for an adoption update:

On August 4th, we had our biometrics appointment with the  office of U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service.  That's a fancy way of saying we went to be photographed and fingerprinted. (for the 3rd time for those who are counting).  Our appointment, which they scheduled, was at 8 AM in Elizabeth.  The appointment letter said to bring a photo ID.  We left Viv with our dear friend Michelle and were on our way.  

We were pleasantly surprised with how quickly and efficiently the registration process was considering the volume of other individuals and families with 8 AM appointments.  Everything was going great.  Until they realized I had a maiden name.  When they asked to see my marriage certificate, I stared at the office manager, dumbfounded.  

"This appointment letter says nothing about bringing a marriage certificate."  

Redness began to burn in my eyes and I began my yoga breathing as a measure of keeping my cool as I realized I was not going to be fingerprinted without my paper-trail of legal names.

No USCIS employees were harmed in the events that occurred on Aug 4.

After a trip back home to get my marriage certificate, a misinformed superfluous trip to the Mt. Laurel USCIS office in the opposite direction, and another trip back to Elizabeth, we finally completed this step in the process.  

Meanwhile, the FBI agent who was working on adjudicating our 2nd sets of fingerprints must have finally returned from his 3 month sabbatical backpacking through Europe because our FBI background checks finally arrived!

"You asked for miracles, Theo.  I give you the F. B. I."

So for those keeping track, we're now waiting for approval from USCIS, and for the US Dept of State to apostille (or verify the authenticity of) our FBI background checks.

Waiting is so hard, guys.  Everyday we think of Jenny, sitting there in her Eastern Europe orphanage, wondering if there's a family out there, a mommy and a daddy who would love her.  She has no idea how we long to curl up on the couch with her in our arms and love on her.  We know that day is coming, and God is in control.  But we pray it comes sooner that we could ever hope!

LuLaRoe For Jenny

The very first thing we bought for Jenny was a pair of LuLaRoe leggings that match a Mommy & Me pair that Vivien and I already owned.  I cried when I paid for them and I told the LLR consultant who they were for.

And this is why our next fundraiser is particularly dear to my heart.

Meet KeRRi DailoR - Wife, Mother, Sister, Friend, MOPs leader and LuLaRoe fashion consultant.

Kerri & Newborn Noel

In February 2014, my husband Matthew and I had exactly three days' warning that our one-week old baby boy was coming home!

After a quick Target run with my best friend (who had given birth to her son literally 30 days earlier!) to get diapers, wipes, and a NoseFrida nasal aspirator (just in case) we were ready!

On Friday, the 28th of February, we loaded up an empty car seat, formula that we had no idea what to do with, tiny diapers and a 0-3 month outfit and set off!

After more than an hour of signing a tower of paperwork at the adoption agency, the door opened!  In walked Noel's birth mom holding the tiniest 6lb bundle of baby in a blue and white crocheted blanket with two itty-bitty feet popping out the bottom!  

Noel's birth dad was close behind and the two of them handed us our son to hold for the first time. And just like that we were parents!

The next 3.5 years would fly by quicker than we knew, and we were blessed to have an open relationship with Noel's birth parents.  They are able to see him grow and thrive and play with trains and worship Lightening McQueen!  They haven't missed a birthday party or museum visit yet!  We are one big family. 

We are so very thankful for the gift of adoption and what it has done for all of us.  While having a very unique start and story, we actually feel very normal.  Our normal.

I was more than ecstatic when Tara told me about Jenny and asked if I would be willing to participate in a fundraiser event.  I assumed she asked because she knew our family has been so blessed by adoption too!  Nope!  She had no idea!  She just loves LuLaRoe and thought it would be fun (and it will be!!)  How awesome to see God working in this incredible story of bringing Jenny home.  Time and time again He has stepped in and just proven to their family how this is all 100% meant to be!  I'm excited to play a very small part in bringing another child home to their family! 

Shop LULAROE KeRRi DailoR for JENNY!

So what's LuLaRoe?  Besides being my latest obsession, it's awesome, adorable, quality clothing - they are famous for their buttery soft leggings, conservative styles, and unique prints.  A portion of the proceeds from Kerri's sales during the week of Aug 22 thru Aug 28 will be donated to our Family Sponsorship Page (FSP) with Reece's Rainbow.   THANK YOU, KERRI!

Leggings for the Etter Girls!

The Disney Effect

I wonder if Jenny likes Mickey Mouse?  On a scale of 1 to 10, the Etter family is a solid 8 as far as our Disney fandom goes.  So I hope she does.   Everyone likes Mickey Mouse, right?

WDW, Jan 2017

Vivien's passion for "Dickey Mouse" and the "Hot Dog Dance" skews our fandom scale slightly, but Justin and I have been fans ever since our delayed Honeymoon in 2012.  It was his first trip (my 4th) and it happened during what those in the Northeast will recall as Superstorm Sandy. Sandy actually delayed our return home by one day so we spent our extra time in Disney sitting through their DVC membership schpiel so we could get the $50 gift cards to spend shopping at Disney Springs (still called Downtown Disney at that time).  Needless to say, we walked out of the pitch as the proud owners of a piece of Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge!  There's a sucker born every minute, right?

Since 2012, we've used our DVC points in many different places in the world..

Ireland, 2013

Hawaii, 2014

Vero Beach, FL, 2016

This past January, we used the points to take Vivien to Disney World for a week.   She was almost 2 and we brought Grams along for reinforcement.  While she enjoyed all of the rides and attractions, she was a bit intimidated that her favorite cartoon characters had jumped off of her TV screen and became 10 times bigger in real life.

Our trip came just after we began the process to adopt Jenny.  In a way, we felt a bit guilty taking a trip to the most magical place in the world without her.  See, even then she felt as much a part of this family as if she'd been born to us.  We thought of her often on that trip:  "I wonder if she'd like this ride", or "Next time, we'll be doing this with Jenny!"  

That's how many of our thoughts have been lately.  "Next time, we'll be doing this with Jenny!"  Just last week we went to the Farm Fair (a new Etter family tradition, by the way.  Apparently Vivien loves cows and pig races!)  This annual event in our county is a time-marker.  With lots of prayer, next year, Jenny will be coming with us.

  

The same was true a few evenings later as we went to the Thunder game.  We even picked up an extra foam finger for Jenny, with the hope that she'll be proudly waving it with us this time next year.

With every day, every outing, and every event that passes, we're reminding ourselves that our family is incomplete right now as we wait for our special addition.  Next time, Jenny will be here to share this moment.  We're working hard to get there.  And it'll be so worth it once we do! 

A Father's Perspective

By Justin

It's clear God has a heart for widows and orphans, as was illustrated in our previous post on how the Bible calls upon us to take care of them.

Justin, portraying Jesus in Graceway Bible Church's "Christmas Live"!

During this adoption process, I keep reflecting on one specific event in the Bible.  In the book of John, there is a moment while Jesus is being crucified.  Almost immediately preceding his death, he performs yet another miracle.  At least, in light of our current circumstances, it seems like a miracle to me.

This moment occurs after Jesus, the perfect and sinless Messiah of the world, had already carried and incurred the entirety of sin, pain and anguish of His creation.  After He had already been humiliated, with soldiers throwing the equivalent of dice to see who would get His tunic, right there in front of Him.  After being mocked by the crowd while He suffered for each of them.

The moment is recorded in John 19:25-27:

Therefore, the soldiers did these things.  But standing by the cross of Jesus were His mother, and His mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas and Mary Magdalene.  When Jesus saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, "Dear Woman, behold your son!"  Then He said to the disciple, "Behold your mother!"  From that hour the disciple took her into his own household.

The miracle is that Jesus created a family!   Although the passage is primarily cited as an example of God's caring for widows (housing a widow was customary with Jewish law at the time), I keep coming back to the fact that Jesus didn't just say "Hey, you should take care of this woman!"  He used words reserved for an extremely personal relationship:  "mother" and "son."

In this moment, Jesus was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.  Bleeding, crushed, humiliated and about two or three breaths away from death.  And what did He do?  In the few minutes remaining before yielding His spirit, He created a family?!  He provided a mother to a son and a son to a mother.  After this, Jesus stated "It is finished," and died.*

Out of the chaos surrounding the cross of pain, suffering, fear, hate, and rejection, Jesus used love to create a family.  Two people's lives were unified in that moment.  It is a testimony to the importance of family to God.

I keep reflecting on this moment in the Bible.  It echos back to when our path toward adopting Jenny became a reality all those months ago.  As we were scrolling through the "other angels" pictures on Reece's Rainbow, Jenny's page struck us in a special way.

Although her story certainly spoke to our hearts, it was her picture that stood out.  It felt familiar, like we were looking at a picture of our child.  It felt as though Jesus said to us "Behold your daughter!"

Almost 2,000 years later and Jesus is still making families through adoption.  It's a blessing that He's using us for His purpose!

*The resurrection of Jesus Christ from the grave occurred three days later, as He overcame sin and death.

Scentsy for Jenny!

Have you heard of "Scentsy"?  Let your nose lead the way!  The very generous Scentsy sales consultant, Dakota Lynch, has offered to donate all of the proceeds of this sale (open now through July 24th!) to our adoption of little "Jenny".

Please consider buying something from this fun sale...great products that smell fabulous!  

https://wicklessdandelions.scentsy.us/party/8006606/etter-adoption-fundraiser

Make sure to have your order shipped to you and not to the consultant or host.  If you have any questions, feel free to message us or Dakota!

Party ends on 7/24 - Happy shopping!!!  And thanks in advance!

This is not a Political Post

This isn't a political post, but let's start by saying that if you are going to pursue an international adoption, New Jersey is quite possibly the worst state you could have to deal with.*

Happy Independence Day!  (Next year with Jenny!)

Over the course of this adoption journey, we will have to deal with the governments in 2 different countries and 3 different states.  Compared to other families, this is a piece of cake.  As our dear friend Crystal likes to remind us, at least we aren't an American family, living in England, and adopting from Armenia.  Yes, I guess that's true, but Crystal never had to deal with the state government of New Jersey, so let's compare war stories once this is all finished!

For those unfamiliar with the intricate workings of state and national governments when it comes to adoption-related documents, let us give you a break down:

Pennsylvania:  We need to have the PA Dept of State authenticate, or apostille, Justin's birth certificate, the notarized copy of our home study, and our social worker's license.   They charge $15 per document and PA's processing time for apostilles is listed on their website as "5 days" (if you mail it in) or "while you wait" if you venture into Harrisburg in person.  (Note there is no additional fee for invoking the "while you wait" option).

North Carolina:  Since we were married in NC, their Dept of State needed to authenticate our marriage certificate.  We mailed them our marriage certificate and the meager $10 fee (regular mail, mind you) on June 1. On June 12, we had the apostille back in our hands.

United States:  Our FBI clearance letters, assuming we ever get them back, will need to be sent to the US Dept of State since they are nationally issued letters.  Fees:  a steal at $8.00 per document. Processing Time:  11 days (plus transit time).

The US Department of State issued Viv's passport and now she's ready to go get her big sister!

New Jersey:  We have precisely 13 documents that will need to be sent to the NJ Department of State to be authenticated.  At $5.00 per document, this is the best deal so far!  But that's where the deal ends.  Processing time is estimated to be 20 days (assuming the government doesn't shut down in the middle of the process) + transit time.  Whoa!  20 days!  And we're pretty sure they really mean "business days", but since NJ was the only site that didn't list a phone number or email address, there's really no way for us to call and find out.  Luckily they do have 3 expedited options available:  For an extra $20 per document, we can have them done in 8.5 business hours (we think that extra half hour is due to their lunch break? Or maybe they allow time for the copier to jam?)  But wait!  There are even faster options!  For a mere $500 extra per document, they can be done in 2 hours and for an extra $1,000 per document, they'll be done in 1 hour!  What a bargain!

Oh, it can't be that bad, can it?  We're currently testing their claims.  We sent in Tara's birth certificate on June 19.  They still haven't cashed the check, but then again, we're only on day 14 out of 20.  The clock, however, has stopped ticking on this until our political leaders learn to play nicely.  Please note: Being realists, we don't actually expect to see the birth certificate ever again and we're actually ordering another one as a replacement.

Oh, and the other little tidbit that dispels the warm, fuzzy feeling of leaving the fate of our adoption, and Jenny's life, in the hands of New Jersey's capable and not-at-all disgruntled employees**:  if you ask one of our newest friends who adopted from Russia 5 years ago, their first-hand testimony indicates that the state of New Jersey almost single-handedly cost them their entire adoption.  We don't have the details on how or why, but we can't say we're terribly shocked.

Viv has her bag packed and can't wait to show Jenny her present from the McCulloughs!

This is where our faith in God comes in.  He's the one who started the engines on this journey and we know that He will be faithful to complete this good work.  We know there are many of you who are praying over our documents and we can't thank you enough. We've seen how His timing is perfect and our faith is made stronger in the midst of this uncertainty.  We can't imagine doing this without his peace and guidance.

How did we get this peace?  How can YOU get this same peace?  Hear the words of the apostle Paul, as inspired by the Holy Spirit 2,000 years ago and explained by John Piper in the video below.

http://www.desiringgod.org/labs/the-heart-of-fearless-contentment

Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again:  Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  (Philipians 4:4-7, NIV)

*Our opinion based on immediate, personal circumstances.  Note that we have not researched wait times or fees associated with the 47 other states in the union not addressed in this blog post.  There could quite possibly be a worse state than NJ.  Maybe.  But since NJ did completely shut down right in the middle of our journey, we're going to stick with our assumption that it is, indeed, the absolute worst by default.  

**This statement is a gross generalization and is in no way intended to be a reflection of all New Jersey government employees.  We happen to know many wonderful state employees to whom we would gladly entrust our most precious documents.  Sadly for us, however, none of them work for the Division of Revenue and Enterprise Services.

UPDATE: Home Study Complete & USCIS Application in the mail!

First of all, thank you to everyone who has been following this journey with us.  We appreciate your prayers and your encouragement.  Many of you have asked for an update on where we are in the journey, and honestly, there really hasn't been any progress on the path.  UNTIL NOW!

The Etter Home Study:  ✓✓✓Complete!✓✓✓

Our Home Study has been finalized and is in our hands!  Not only that, but less than 12 hours after receiving the notarized home study, we have slipped it, along with our I-800-A "Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country" to US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS), into the (hopefully) capable hands of the United States Postal Service.

Now, we wait for USCIS to tell us when and where we need to go to be fingerprinted for the third time, and with any luck,  we'll have their approval within a month!

In the meantime,  we continue to work on getting all of the documents, notaries, and seals for our dossier.  We each had to get some more bloodwork done, and our Birth Certificates are floating around somewhere in limbo between various state capitals and our house.  Oh, and our second sets of fingerprints have been laying on someone's desk at the FBI for about a month now.   (We're getting worried about this poor FBI agent because clearly he or she is on some sort of extended leave of absence sitting on a serene beach in Hawaii watching the sunset.  Or worse - perhaps he went AWOL and no one knows what happened to him or his case files and so no one has any idea we even submitted our fingerprints!  Or maybe he just spilled coffee all over the prints and is too embarrassed to tell us.  Whatever the case, we forgive you, Mr. FBI Agent!  Just hurry up!) 

At any rate, please continue to pray over these documents and the people who need to process them for us.   We know it's all in God's perfect timing,  and while our journey is far from over,  we rejoice in knowing he just lifted us and Jenny to a giant leap forward!

✓